Cupid's Soldier

Chapter 17

Maybe it's the cold atmosphere that I'm being forced to adjust to when I first get into Xavier's car, but I wish I didn't walk away from Austen. I was being very hypocritical, he's not my boyfriend and even if he was, I wouldn't be able to be very honest with him either.

As I look out the window, trees blur past me and reform their shape. Usually, I'd take comfort in watching the dark green and brown blobs, but I can't seem to find comfort in anything lately. Everything that I could have ever wanted in life seems to pop into view and then when I go to grab it, it's snatched out of my reach and I'm left desperately trying to reach it. Lately, it's seemed as if somebody is just trying to taunt me.

I've never been so tired in my life, but I'm scared to fall asleep in his car. Xavier is capable of anything and everything, he's someone to be wary of and I recognize that. The fact that my dad has been pushing this to happen, is even worse.

When we arrive at my dad's place, I open the ugly brown car doors fervently and rush out of the car.

"Seline, your father wants you to meet him in his study." Xavier says assertively, and I sigh. Nothing I ever do will allow me to have a moment of peace from these two people. With them in my life, I'll never be happy.

Walking through the beige colored corridors and brown wooden floors, I reach my fathers office and I look at the white door. I'm tired, I'm so damn tired. I don't want to sort through files. I want to sleep. I want to dream. I want to do normal teenage girl things. I want to be a teenager, for once. I can't endanger anyone's lives doing what he asks me to do, and I definitely cannot sit down at a desk and put away his folders that are stacked full with all of his criminal activity.

I knock on my father's office door and before he can invite me in, I slam the door open and walk in. My dad's eyebrows arch in condescending confusion. He hasn't seen anybody disrespect him like this in a while, but I'm a teenager and I know how to throw a temper tantrum. I'm just so done with this man's crap, it's not even funny.

Crossing my arms, I glare at the man who abandoned me. He might not have left us because he wanted to, but in the end, he enjoys his life here and he wouldn't leave it for us. He relishes in all of the respect and glory. Since he started forcing me to come here, I've begun to notice certain things: he'll smirk when people comply with him. He laughs when people fear him. He probably feels like a king.

My dad justifies the position he's in by saying he loves his family and I even believed that maybe he did for a little while there but now? Nope. He doesn't love me at all. He believes, with all his heart, that he's only doing all of this for Mom and I. However, if there was an opportunity for him to leave the Mists, without him or any of our family being hurt, he wouldn't take it. I know he wouldn't.

Dad would stay here and he would continue to get normal people involved in drugs and sex trafficking. He would continue to make people indebted to him. He would continue to kill people without flinching, and he would continue to make people cover up his tracks.

The man in front of me will never change the way he is, and that's okay. It's time for me to move on. It's time for me to defend myself and keep him from having such a huge impact on my life. If I want my life to be better, I need to remove him from the equation. I need to finally stand up for myself. If I want my life to get better, I need to stop letting him control me. That talk with Austen cleared up a lot of things for me. He's controlled by his demons and so he feels as if he can't share them with anybody. Yet I wanted to help him get through them so badly. If he were to have just told me what he was thinking or feeling then maybe we'd be able to work things out together. He didn't though. Just like me, he's scared that I'll be hurt one day. If I continue to let this man control me, I'll never be able to trust anybody. I'll never be able to live my life.

"I'm not helping you anymore, Dad." My voice is clear, loud, and assertive. Nothing is going to get in my way anymore. My dad is not going to hold this power over me.

"Is that so?" He asks with a chuckle, folding his hands together and placing them down on his work. "If I remember clearly, you're not the one who gets to choose when you stop working for me. I'm still the one with the power here. I can kill your boyfriend. I know where he lives. It won't take a long time."

I smirk at him this time, maybe he thinks he has that power right now, but after I'm done talking, he won't.

"You let me touch your computer, you let me hold records in my hands that the police would consider evidence. You're an idiot. You have no idea what I'm capable of. You aren't going to touch Austen, and neither is anyone from your gang because if you do, I'm going to the authorities with everything."

I smile wickedly, I'm not sure if the things that I sent to my computer would be enough to get daddy dearest sent to jail. I'm not even sure if I want him in jail, but it's worth a try.

"Oh, and, try and come to my house to erase the records and I'll send them anyway. Let's just say, I have more than one copy."

He jumps out of his seat and walks towards me with a dangerous glint in his eyes. My dad seethes as he walks towards me and he laughs darkly.

"You wouldn't tell anybody anything, you wouldn't dare. I'm your dad and you love me."

I look him dead in the eyes and walk a little bit closer to him, the tension in the room is so thick it rivals smoke.

"You left me, for this life, Dad. When you did it, you say it was for a good cause, but nothing can justify leaving my mother to suffer through that horrible depression. Nothing can justify killing people for sport and nothing can justify all of the horrible things that you've done. The reason that you've stayed so long without contacting us wasn't because you were trying to keep us safe. It was because you were embarrassed by how much you enjoy this life and how much you crave it. You brought me here because the guys in your gang are scared that I'll squeal, right? Well then here's the solution to the problem, let me go. If you don't let me go, I'll snitch. I don't want to be a part of your illegal lifestyle. I don't want to see you kill and murder people, because I think it's wrong. I don't want to live in this cage. The only way that I'm not going to tell the world that you're a criminal, is if you let me go."

Dad growls angrily and rears his hand back to slap me, I don't even flinch when I feel the harsh sting of his rough palm coming into contact with my face. I don't scream or cry, I just hold my cheek in my hand.

He looks at me again but this time with sad eyes and when he opens his mouth to speak, I turn my back on him. I walk towards the door and I walk out of that dreadful office with no regrets.

I hear footsteps behind me, but I don't bother to turn around, I keep marching towards the room with the hidden tunnel inside it. Instead of just sitting down and letting things happen, for once, I'm not taking any risks.

It's time for me to tell Austen everything.