Chapter 15

436 17 6
                                    

I wake up in a room that I've examined to be the nurses office, my back is pressed against something hard and comfortable and arms are wrapped around my waist

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I wake up in a room that I've examined to be the nurses office, my back is pressed against something hard and comfortable and arms are wrapped around my waist. Am I cuddling with someone? I can't be. I try to move, try to escape the arms surrounding me, but I can't.

The person who's trapped me has strong, muscular arms and a hard body. They smell like the saltwater in the ocean, I remember going on vacation to the beach in Florida. I remember the smell of the ocean, and this alluring scent is it.

Turning around, I gasp, Austen even looks troubled in his sleep, his eyebrows are furrowed and he's breaking into a sweat. He holds me closer to his chest, and I can't help but look at his full lips.

"Sorry Mommy," he whispers so softly I almost don't hear it. He looks so pained and tortured, my heart clenches at the sight of his mangled voice and I close my eyes shut. I try to move but he holds me even closer to him. "Sel, don't leave me." He croaks, and I open my eyes to see that he's staring directly at me.

"I'm right here Aus, I'm here," I kiss his cheek and look into his soft brown eyes. "I'm not gonna leave you, Aus." I say softly, trying to reassure not only him, but me.

He sighs and sits up, a mixture of confusingly sad emotions flashing in his eyes.

"Aus, huh? That's new." I laugh nervously, a blush spreading across my face.

"Sorry, do you not like it?"

"It's cute," he says with a small smile adorning his face. "Sort of like you."

His booming laughter makes me relax a bit, but I'm still curious. What was he dreaming about? Whatever this was, it seemed more terrifying than a nightmare. I've never seen Austen scared before in my life, yet this had him whimpering for his mom in fear.

"That must've been one terrifying dream though. Do you mind if I ask what it was about?" I ask breathlessly, my concern for him leaking out my voice like a running tap. I know that I'm running on dangerous territory; and I know that I'm not ready to tell him any of the things that have been going on with me, but I want to know.

His dark brown eyes harden and he refuses to look at me. His shoulders tense up like he has the weight of the world on them; and when he finally looks at me, I freeze.

Those broken looking eyes get to me, they wrap themselves around my heart and squeeze mockingly. Those eyes make me feel things that I haven't ever felt before in my entire life.

"I can't tell you," he says quietly and looks at me one last time, before standing up and leaving the room.

I follow him out of the room, watching how he moves slowly, sleepily, droopily, and I frown. What kind of dream could've made Austen so exhausted and sad? What kind of dream could make him look so ashamed of who he is? What is haunting him?

"Aus, please tell me!" I say pleadingly, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Please."

He turns to look at me, smoldering brown eyes filled with anguish and unshed tears.

"Little Sel, I haven't even told Lissa that I have these dreams occasionally, I really can't."

I glare at him because I want him to tell me. I glare at him because I trust him. I glare at him because I want to know everything about him. And more importantly I glare at him because I know I shouldn't want any of those things.

"I trust you more than I should for GOD knows what reason. I like you even though I know I damn well shouldn't, and seeing you like this is breaking my damn heart! I know it hurts, trust me I do, and I know that I shouldn't even be asking you this, but I don't know what else to do. We're in the same boat, Aus. I have these feelings for you, and I don't know how to explain them, but they're there, and they're making me scared. They're making me selfish. Please, tell me..."

His adam's apple bobs and his eyebrows furrow. He coughs a little bit and his eyes are getting glassy with every second that goes by.

"I don't want to hurt you, Sel." He says quietly, and I can feel my heart beating so fast in my chest. The sound of his voice makes me break apart. It sounded so broken and hoarse.

"If I could tell you, I would. The problem is the minute I open my mouth, you'll run in the opposite direction. I'm not someone that you should be trying so hard to understand. I'm a monster. I wish I could tell you, but the reality in this situation is that I can't. No matter what I tell you or don't tell you, you'll end up running away from me scared. You don't know the part of me that people gossip about. I've never yelled at you or fought with you the way that I do with other people. I've never been mean or cruel to you. The entire time we've been getting to know each other, you've seen the best sides of me and let's be real... you didn't like those parts of me either."

His eyes have gone hard and a slow smirk spreads across his face, all signs of tears and sadness have just vanished. He looks me dead in the eye, a malicious look on his face. It's as if he didn't cuddle up with me in the nurse's office, or beg me to stay with him. It's like he completely forgot all of the feelings, I know that he has, towards me.

"And if I have to introduce you to that monster so that it won't hurt as much when you go, I will. That's just who I am."

I glare at him one last time before the final bell rings and I start walking to Xavier's car, fuming at Austen's choice. The first day that we talked, he was a little annoying but he was kind, maybe that was only because he wanted something but still... Sure, he was arrogant, but that's a part of his charm. Then we started talking in English class more and he helped me home, twice. Now, he's choosing to just forget how much we clicked, He's choosing to forget how we have so much in common. He's choosing to forget our chemistry, our bond.

When I get home, as I wait for my mom I pull out my laptop and answer questions from my blog, when I get to one that makes my heart beat loudly in my chest. I shiver as I read it. The username might be anonymous, but I know exactly who sent it.

I hate that I'm burdened with this, but I can't change it. I'm stuck. I think I just lost Ms. Perfect, and I want her to know that I hate it as much as she does.


Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Cupid's SoldierWhere stories live. Discover now