✦Joshler✦: He's A Butcher With A Smile

Hugs and Kisses

"You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together."
—Nicholas Sparks

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

After our kiss on the couch, I was now certain I loved Josh. And he loved me.
He really did love me. How did I get so lucky?

I had to call Jenna, and finally tell her about it. I decided I would wait; I wanted the night just to be for me and Josh, so that we could talk about everything.
I also hoped we'd get to kiss more.
Maybe even test the waters...
Just kidding, of course. We just became a couple! But it's fun to fantasize.

We hopped onto the tour bus, and I half expected Jenna to be waiting there, with her perfect smile that just wasn't perfect for me.
Then the crude reality reminded me we broke up.

I didn't feel sad about it like you're supposed to after a failed marriage. I felt relieved, and dare I say happy?

How could I not be happy with the most amazing guy alive by my side?

We sat down in front of the TV in silence for a while. Not awkward silence, just silence. Enjoying each others presence.

"So when did you know you were in love with me?" I asked him, curious. He bit the inside of his lip for a moment, then smiled a close-mouthed grin.
"I always knew," he smirked, his face turning rosy.
There wasn't even the slightest hesitation before he said it.

"When did you know you loved me?" He returned.
I contemplated my answer before speaking.

"I think I've always been in love with you, I just didn't realize it until tonight. We were playing 'I Can't Help Falling In Love' and Jenna wasn't even in my mind. You were," I replied honestly.

He smiled as if he couldn't stop it. He was extremely attractive, and I no longer felt guilty for thinking it.
Because Jenna and I were over.

"What do you love about me?" I questioned, enjoying hearing him talk to me this way–
like we were a couple and not just flirty friends.

He tapped his finger on his chin.
"Let's see, what's lovable about you..." He joked and looked at me up and down.
I giggled, intertwining our fingers. It felt right.

"I love your voice, and the way you can rap really fast without messing up. I love the way your hair does that fluffy thing; I just adore it. I love the way you look when your sleeping, and the feeling of your hugs. I love everything about you," he listed, which gave me watery eyes. I couldn't believe he always felt this way and never told me! I was almost to the point of being angry about it, until I remember I'd never told him.

"So what do you love about me?" He scooted closer, resting his chin on his left hand. I'd hadn't allowed myself to think of it before, and a million things came to mind.

"I love your dimples, and when you're nose scrunches up sometimes when you eat. I love your eyes...I mean really love your eyes. I love the way I can talk to you about anything. I love it how you always play your drums like it's the last show you'll ever play," I started pulling the thoughts from my head.

He chuckled before grabbing the collar of my shirt, pulling me close and kissing me again.
The taste of his lips was intoxicating.

He backed away a moment, resting his forehead against mine. I couldn't get over how much different it was to kiss a man. To kiss him.

"God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he said before exploring my mouth with his again.

"Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt Josh?" I asked with a frown after the kiss, thinking of all the years I'd been deprived of his kiss.
He shrugged, staring at the floor intensely.

"I didn't want to ruin our friendship if you didn't love me back," he replied after thinking for a bit. I understood, considering I'd thought the exact same thing.

I nodded knowingly before leaning my head against his shoulder and liking the way it seemed to fit there perfectly.

"What are we going to tell everybody? Our families, our friends. Our fans," I said the last one in a hush. I was most nervous about telling the clique. What would they think?
"Don't worry about that right now. Let's just worry about us," Josh soothed, winding his fingers through locks of my hair.

Even with him assuring me it would all be ok, I was still terrified of what would happen when we told everyone. Would they hate us, or support us? I had no idea. But I also felt as if with him as my boyfriend, we could do anything.
We could move mountains and conquer the world.
That is, if he was my boyfriend. We hadn't talked about what we were yet, but it seemed like the perfect time to bring it up.

"So are you my boyfriend?" I asked him with hopeful eyes and a smile
"Gee, I sure hope so," he replied.

We sat together on the bus for a long time, like we always do.
Except now, he was my boyfriend. And I couldn't have been happier.