✦Joshler✦: He's A Butcher With A Smile

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"Happiness is a risk. If you're not a little scared, then you're not doing it right."
—Sarah Addison Allen

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Josh had done a lot of hiding away in my room after the visit with his parents. We were staying at my apartment, which was right outside of Columbus.

"Josh, you want some tacos? We can run to Taco Bell," it was an invitation that usually cheered him up. "No I'm good. I just want to stay in today," he laid in bed, his back to me and voice muffled under the covers.

I used to do that when my depression was really bad; I would stay in bed almost all day long for weeks at a time, because everything felt too overwhelming and tiring. And him doing it scared me.

I prayed that wasn't what was happening with Josh. I don't think I could bare to see him go through that. No one should have to.

"Josh, you've 'just stayed in' every day this week. Let's go out," I climbed back into bed next to him, placing a hand on his arm.

"Tyler, I can't right now, ok?" he faced me, speaking more harshly. It startled me, and I shrunk back where I sat.

He saw my face and sat up. "I'm sorry Ty, I didn't mean to snap at you. I dunno, I just feel really down lately. I think I need some time," he said, embarrassed.

"Away from me?" I asked, my heart dropping. I didn't want to be away from Josh ever again in my entire life. "No no, that's not what I meant. If anything I need you with me more than ever. I just need a break from daily life is all," he cranes his neck to kiss my cheek. I smiled, relieved.

"Of course. I didn't mean to pressure you, take all the time you need," I said, squeezing in next to him to cuddle. He rested his head on my shoulder, putting his arms around my torso. I thought about how lucky I was to have him.

  _________________

"We should tell our fans soon," Josh said once we'd both woken up from our nap. It was out of the blue, and dampened my mood. "We should not," I shook my head, imagining their possible reactions. Josh sat up, stretching his arms. "Ty, we have to do it sometime," he argued.
"No, I don't think we do," I scrunched up my face to show I hated the idea.

I knew he was right, but after what happened with Josh's parents, I wasn't sure if I could handle having to share the news again. But I also wasn't going to have to pretend to be just friends whenever we were in public.

"How about we make a YouTube video explaining it to our fans. That way it won't be as scary as telling them live" he smirked, in a teasing tone. I scowled but ultimately gave in, shrugging.

"Yay! This actually makes me really happy; you know, telling our fans," he booped me on the nose. Well at least one of us would get some enjoyment out of this. I was willing to do anything to see Josh's smile, which had been rare for the past couple weeks. "You're lucky you're so adorable," I responded. "I know," he stuck his tongue out.

He hopped out of our bed, but not before I grabbed his arm, and twirled him to face me, kissing him. A fuzzy sensation spread through me. I never got tired of kissing Josh.

I didn't tell him it made me happy to see him up and about- it would probably upset him again. "Ok, so let's put on some cute outfits, then we can decide what we'll say," he sifted through the shirts hanging in my closet. Josh was genuinely excited for this I guess.

Now I was getting shaky and my stomach twisted. "You can pick out my outfit," I got out of bed, walking over to my phone which rested on my dresser and below the tv. I set it up so that the camera faced us, ready to record whenever we were. I was not even close to ready, but Josh was, so I ignored what I wanted and joined Josh where he stood.

"This would be cute on you," he held up a white and pink t-shirt. "Yea, sure," I took it from him, pulling my pajama top over my head. As I did, I felt fingers tracing over my chest. My breath hitched as I tilted my head questioningly, and I realized Josh was outlining my tattoos with his index finger.

"did I ever tell you how much I adore your tattoos?" He asked, doing the same to the tattoos on my arm. His touch tickled  me, making me shutter. "Especially the one on your knee," he giggled.

"You mean the one that says your name?" I grinned, pulling up my pant leg to see it. "Yes, that one." He stared at my torso again. "Maybe you should just go shirtless for the video. You're not so bad on the eyes, ya know" he winked at me, which made me blush and scowl.

I slid the t-shirt on, then changed my pants. Now it was time to record.

"Hi I'm Josh, and this is Tyler," Josh started talking, a big smile on his face. "And we're twenty one pilots," I finished for him. I crossed one of my legs over the other, trying not to look nervous as all hell, like I was feeling.

"We have an announcement for you guys, which we hope won't change the way you see us," I began, turning to Josh so he could be the one to say it out loud. "Tyler and I are now a couple, as of a few weeks ago," he said, his goofy smile only getting bigger as he turned to me, putting his hand out so I could take it. So I did, then held it up for the lens to see.

"We are so thankful for all the support you've shown us over the years, and we hope you'll still support us after this," I fumbled with trying to find the right words to say. "Thanks clique," Josh ended the video.

We watched it over to make sure it was presentable. "Upload?" Josh asked me, his thumb hovering over the button on the screen. I took a breath and looked into his eyes before answering. "Upload."