✦Joshler✦: He's A Butcher With A Smile

Making The Call

"I guess that's just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up."
—Lauren Oliver

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It had been a few weeks since me and Josh officially became a couple, and we both decided it was time to tell our families. The tour had given us time to work up the nerve and prepare what we'd say to them. Now that we were heading back to Columbus to visit them, every mile we drove made my anxiety increasingly worse.

My parents were first. "What if they disown me? What if they out me to our fans? What if they tell Jenna before I get the chance to?" I worried out loud, gazing out if the window at the corn fields beginning to appear, and the dull, grey sky.

"I'm fairly certain they won't do any of that. They're your family, they'll always love you no matter what you do," Josh said while spreading some jelly on a slice of toast. I made a small, half-hearted noise on agreement.

He set the butter knife down."If you're really that scared, we can make sure one of those things doesn't happen right now," he urged me to make the call to Jenna. I groaned, shaking my head no. He'd been bugging me about it for a while. "Ty, you have to do it sometime. Or she probably will hear it from somebody else," he crossed his arms, revealing his toned biceps. He was right, like always. I sighed, grabbing my phone from the table next to me. Josh smiled and returned to his toast, basking in his victory.

My thumb shook when I scrolled through my contacts as slow as I could, until I got to Jenna's name. Taking a breath, I hit the call button. I looked over at Josh while it rang, and he stared back at me. Two rings went by, then three. Maybe she won't pick up, I thought in my head, wishing that would be the case.

"Hi Tyler," Jenna's voice filled my ear. I pursed my lips, my heart rate quickening. "H-hi Jenna," I stuttered. "Well um," I started, but she interrupted,"Before you say anything, I want to apologize for how I acted after the show. I shouldn't have made a scene like that. And I shouldn't have just accused you of something without being sure it was true." She was making it hard for me to break the news.

"That's kinda why I'm calling," I continued. "Ok," she said calmly, waiting for my answer. I gathered my courage, sitting up straighter. My hand was sweaty around the phone. "You weren't really wrong about what you said. I do...I do love Josh," I flinched after saying it, prepared for her to go off again.

"I knew it. I can't say I'm mad anymore. It's just as much my fault as it is yours," she admitted with a sigh which took me by surprise. "How so?" I hesitated before asking. "I knew you loved him, but I ignored it, because I loved you. I was selfish, I should've let you go a long time ago," she sounded peaceful, like she was getting it off her chest, but also like she was going to break down at any moment. Guilt started to swell inside me, making me feel sick.

"It's ok Tyler, I'm glad this happened. Now we can move on with our lives..as friends hopefully?" She said as if she was reading my mind- something she'd gotten good at.

It was relieving to hear, and I gave a smile to Josh to show that the call was going well. "Yea of course. Thanks Jenna, I'm sorry about all of this. I really did love you," I told her, no longer tense. "I'm sorry too. Well, uh, I suppose this means we should get a divorce..." she replied, kindness in her voice. I agreed, and with that, we said goodbye. I pressed 'end call'.

It was a bitter sweet moment. I wasn't just ending the call, I was ending that chapter of my life.

Josh came over to me, taking my hand to help me stand. He pulled me in for a hug, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You did great," he whispered, his breath tickling my ear,"I'm so proud of you baby." The pet name surprised me, but I liked it.

"She wasn't even angry," I said to him, which gave me faith that my family would also be ok with it. "I told you it would work out," he backed away enough to kiss me on the forehead. It caused goosebumps to rise down my arms. "I love you," I whispered.
"I love you too, Ty."