Falling Down Under (I) #Wattys2016

Part 1

"You need to get laid. Come out with me, have some fun. I know there is a party animal somewhere in there." My best friend Hannah was a social butterfly. She loved men, but without commitments, and she was on to me again.

"And before you tell me that you can't," Hannah continued pleading, "Zoe is in town, watching who knows what soap opera on my lounge. She'll be happy to do the same here and babysit the twins." I knew her niece Zoe was a great babysitter. She'd looked after my twins Sam and Emma in the past. I simply didn't want to go out.

"But I really don't want to leave the kids when they're asleep and don't know I've left. Besides, I have to be up by seven to get them to their athletics competition."

The numbers on my phone showed 9:57 PM. We had killed the bottle of Shiraz in our usual Friday night fashion: An averaged priced wine and a good chat, accompanied by a lot of laughter. Around this time I went to bed while Hannah's night was yet to start.

"You're hopeless, Lisa.  The kids aren't that little anymore. And it's been over a year now that Peter passed away. Think about yourself more. It's not healthy," Hannah rebuked me. She was right, but that was just the way I was. Even during my marriage with Peter I hardly went out.

"I don't need to party. I'm perfectly happy, Hannah."

"Sure you are: Work, kids, cleaning, sleeping. That makes every woman happy."

I scowled at her. It was typical. Hannah's sarcasm versus my excuses. Of course, it wasn't the fulfillment of my dreams, but being in my mid-thirties with two kids, a part-time job and debts didn't leave much room for a different lifestyle. "I don't miss a thing, Hannah." I nearly convinced myself.

"No, because you never had it. But don't tell me you're not dreaming of a night out, some adult fun. You need to make more time for yourself."

"Dreaming of Prince Charming? Sure. I'll go to bed now and dream."

"Fun, Lisa. Excitement. Adventure. I let you off the hook tonight, but we're on tomorrow. No excuses."

Hannah got up from my outdoor lounge. I blew out the mosquito candle on the glass table as a mild breeze blew my hair into my face. While I accompanied Hannah to the door, I marvelled at her. She was such a beauty: Tall, with shiny black curls falling down her back, covering her slim torso. Her dark brown eyes so deep that more than once a lover had turned into a stalker. And her confidence. Oh, how I wished I had her confidence.

I gave Hannah a hug and kiss on the cheek before wishing her a good night. "We're going out tomorrow evening, and I won't take no for an answer," she reminded me again. And then, she just had to add, "sweet dreams," before turning around, walking up the driveway and disappearing in the dark.

With a heavy heart, but relieved to be able to go to bed, I locked first the fly-screen, then the house door and finally turned on the alarm. I never used to worry about the security of our house. After all, we lived in one of the safest neighbourhoods in Sydney. But being the only adult at home left me with a weird feeling at times. When Peter was still alive, we hardly ever closed both doors. Sometimes, we forgot to lock them all together.

Lying in bed, a bit tipsy, I could not fall asleep: Was it strange that I didn't really miss Peter? We'd fought a lot and I would kid myself to say that we had been in love. After a five minute talk in the evening we both usually ended up in front of separate TV's, with him resting on the lounge, beer in one hand, remote control in the other, while I was ironing in the bedroom, finishing the kitchen and reading a bit in bed or watching television on my small screen. I guess we became roommates and annoyed each other, preferring to do our own thing.

I was attracted to Peter's looks when I first met him: Tall, muscular, with short dark hair and warm eyes. And he used to be fun. I fell pregnant with the twins after we had known each other for only six months. It was a bit of a holiday romance really. Peter had been on a business trip in Germany, attending the International Trade Fair for Retail Promotions and Imports in Cologne, while I had been in town visiting a friend. I had studied Community Development in Berlin and had just handed in my final papers, taking a short break before jumping back into studies for my last exam in Human Rights. Peter sat next to me in the musical Saturday Night Fever. What a magical night that was. With Peter being from Sydney and my ticket to Australia booked two weeks earlier, we had a lot to talk about during the break and ended up spending an exciting week together in Cologne.

After completing my studies, I backpacked with friends along Australia's East Coast. I caught up with Peter in Sydney and stayed. Sometimes, I did regret never finishing my travels. Now, over twelve years later, I still hadn't seen Australia's West Coast. Not that I wanted to complain. After all, I had the two most wonderful kids in the world.

Closing my eyes, I imagined how different my life could have been, picturing my Prince Charming, until I drifted off to sleep.

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The weekend began with an average Saturday morning, watching the twins compete in athletics while helping in Sam's group this week. In the afternoon we went for a swim in the backyard pool, and later Hannah came over with Zoe in tow, not willing to let me off the hook. We settled on dinner at a Thai restaurant, followed by watching a movie.

"What about that guy over there? He's checking you out. Look at those cute dimples." Hannah just couldn't let it go. We were sitting in a lovely restaurant & bar and my main focus was on the pizza and wine in front of me and the fact that I wouldn't have to do the dishes.

"Why are you so desperate to set me up? I'm happy without a man."

"Just for the night. Come on." Her eyes were basically sparkling from excitement.

"Feel free to walk over, Hannah, but leave me out of it." I knew she wouldn't drop it. "I'm not the one-night type and have no interest in a relationship. Can we just please have dinner, watch the movie and then you can go off and enjoy the nightlife."

"And you'll be dreaming of Prince Charming?"

"Maybe," I smiled. "Dreams don't disappoint."

The rest of my weekend passed by very unspectacular, and all too soon Monday was there.