Falling Down Under (I) #Wattys2016

Part 19

It was an uncomfortable feeling entering the house. The emptiness of the cupboards and corners could be felt with every step and every breath. The silence and bare rooms made it appear like a foreign home. Both kids had fallen asleep in the taxi. I woke them up to walk inside where they both crashed immediately on their beds, still wearing their clothes. After ensuring all doors were locked and double checking that the alarm was turned on, I sat in front of the kids' beds for a few minutes, just watching them sleep so peacefully. I was lucky to have two so beautiful, smart and gorgeous kids. My heart filled with warmth just looking at them. No, I would not waste any more precious moments with them over a guy.

Ready for the night, all dressed in my red summer pyjamas, I lay down on my bed, just staring at the ceiling, watching the fan spin around and listening to its whooshing sound. The cool breeze on my skin was a welcoming feeling on this hot day.

The phone rang.

I closed my eyes and waited for the ringing to stop, concentrating on the sound the fan made. Then I got up, pulled out the phone plug and grabbed the kids' scrapbooks. Back on my bed, I flipped through their photos. I was in hardly any of them: Always the photographer. I've never had anyone to share those precious moments with the kids and me. Peter was in some of them, deliberately placed into every situation he took some part in. Maybe I should talk to the kids more about their father, I thought. They sometimes mentioned him, but usually it was very superficial comments.

The ringing of my mobile phone brought me back out of my thoughts. Dave's name appeared on the screen.

"Just checking you're okay, darling!"

"All good, Dave. Thanks! Also for dinner. Can you tell Corey again what an amazing meal he created? You're a lucky guy. I hope you know that."

"I know! And you will be too, soon. I'm sure. By the way, Scott has called just after you left, harassing Corey for your number. He's very keen on a date. Would you be fine for Corey to pass it on? Scott's a nice guy, really, and a devoted dad." He really had been lovely when I met him on Saturday, and attractive. I just didn't think I was ready for it.

"Thanks, Dave. I don't think I'm up for that."

"Okay, baby girl. Let me know if you change your mind. Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow!"

"Hey, before you hang up, you should come by the gym tomorrow. I'll give you an extra session. It will make you feel better."

"Oh, I guess I should. I'll let you know." I didn't feel like exercise at all, but knew Dave was right. I made a mental note to try my best to make it to the session.

After hanging up, I turned on the radio: Softrock. Staring at the ceiling again, my thoughts wandered off. Don't I deserve someone by my side? Just because I'm a single mum doesn't mean I have to be alone for the rest of my life, does it? And before I knew what was happening, I held my iPad between my hands, looking at pictures of Tom. Why can't I just let go? 

No new photos of him. To kill time, I decided to look more into his sporting career. To my surprise he'd been competing in three consecutive world championships. He won silver the second year and gold in the third. In a different article I read about him preparing for the Olympic Games, but I couldn't find any information on if or why he didn't end up competing. There seemed to be no information at all on Tom and sports thereafter. This man was one big mystery.

Wondering if there was any information about Tom's childhood I typed different commands in the search engine: "Tom Mayer childhood", "Tom Mayer orphan", "Tom Mayer parents". None of them brought back any insight into his early life.