Against All Odds

Chapter 40

Eve

I'm standing outside Rose Cottage. Lucas's Gran's cottage. It's small but clearly homely. I came here alone, not telling anyone but Max where I was going. If I told Harvey and it was a dead end I'd be dashing his hopes of finding his best mate.
The journey had been pretty painless and I only took a wrong bus once. Now I'm here I'm trying to buck up the courage and knock. It's stupid but I'm almost worried that Lucas doesn't want to see me. He must have left for a reason. What if I was it?
After standing motionless for too long I take the plunge, knowing I didn't come all the way here just to return home without trying.
I march forward and knock.

It takes a while but eventually the door opens slowly. My jaw drops when I see who opened it.

Lucas.

His eyes are dull, head hung low. Guilt swims in his eyes when he lays eyes on me and I'm unable to look away. Until now I didn't realise how much I truly missed him. I almost want to break down and cry right here in front of him but I don't. I'm stronger than that.
"What are you doing here?" Lucas asks, his voice lifeless and lacking emotion. This isn't what I was expecting. I at least thought he'd smile when I first knocked on his door. "How did you find me?"
I run a hand through my messy hair.
"Nice to see you too." I chuckle sarcastically, earning no reply from Lucas who has his guard up, face passive. "If you must know I went to see your Dad. If anyone knew where you'd gone it was him."
Lucas stares at me, his eyes wide and I'm glad he's showing slight emotion.
"You actually went to see him? Just to find where I'd..." Lucas shakes his head and I see his guard shoot back up. "You shouldn't have come."
"You shouldn't have left!" I argue, frustrated that he's not even the tiniest bit happy to see me.
"Just leave." Lucas glares at me, eyes burning with loathing and I almost walk away right there and then. But I see a flicker of pain in his eyes. For some reason I realise that his hatred isn't aimed at me, but at himself although I've got no idea why.
"Let me in Luc." I persist gently, wishing he'd open up and talk to me. Explain why he left. "I miss you."
"Too bad I don't miss you." He rolls his eyes and tries to slam the door shut in my face but I stupidly decide to stick my foot in the way. I curse loudly as my foot gets caught painfully between door and frame. As soon as Lucas hears my hiss of pain he frees my foot from the right grasp and starts apologising a thousand times over. "Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd...I'm sorry. I hurt you."

"It wouldn't be the first time." I growl in annoyance, the pain already fading but I wouldn't be surprised if I have a nasty bruises there later. "You up and leave without a word just when I need you the most. I understand that you're Dad fucked up real bad and you probably wanted to get as far away from him as possible but did it even cross your mind that I needed you to stay? I needed your support like I'd given mine so willingly."

I pause, wondering if he'll give me any sign of emotion but his face is unreadable. This only fuels my anger more and I bite my lip to stop myself from crying.

"You didn't leave a note or answer any of our calls or even text back just to say you were ok!" I raise my voice but he barely even reacts. "Harvey and I searched everywhere for you Lucas. That boys had it hard and when he finally found a good mate he thought he could rely on, they run off without a hint of goodbye."

I let out a small sob and angrily rub the tears from my eyes. I will not cry.

"You guys deserve better than me." He scowls, crossing his arms in front of his chest stubbornly.

"Maybe we do but we don't care about what we deserve, we care about you!" I stress, overwhelmed by the clashing emotions inside of me. Anger, frustration, desperation, longing and ... love.

"I don't know the reason why you left Lucas." I say after calming my wreck of a self down with a deep breath. "I should be angry with you for leaving me when I needed the support. I should hate you for not even missing me at all. But the truth is I don't hate you...I can't hate you. I-"

And then I'm interrupted by an elderly lady who comes up behind Lucas in the doorway, a welcoming smile on her wrinkled face.

"Now Lucas, who is this fine young lady and what is she doing standing on my doorstep?" She pushes the door fully open and her smile warms. "Come in my dear."

"I-I don't think that's a good idea." I start but the ladies having none of it.
"Nonsense! I won't have you freezing out there like an ice cube." She ushers me inside and introduces herself as Rosie, Lucas' Gran. As I pass the boy who makes my heart race a thousand times over I gulp at the look of annoyance covering his face. There's a pang in my chest at his expression. I didn't expect him to jump for joy when he saw me but I did at least expect a small smile...maybe even a hug.

To say the evening is awkward would be an understatement. It's so awkward I almost regret coming all this way simply to find Lucas and bring him back home. But I'm determined. I'm going to break down the walls he's suddenly put up around him for god knows why.

All through dinner Rosie chatters away to me joyfully, barely noticing Lucas' hostile behaviour towards me or if she does she pretends to remain ignorant. She questions me on my home, where I'd first met Lucas, basic stuff like that. When she asks how Benji is doing Lucas visibly tenses and excuses himself from the table, his food hardly touched. Once he's out of ear shot Rosie sighs, putting down her fork.

"Sorry dear, I shouldn't have asked that." She apologises and begins to clear the table. When I offer to help her she politely declines. "No no, I won't have my guests clearing the table."

As she potters to and from the kitchen she doesn't try to make small talk which enables me to be alone with my thoughts for a minute or two. Of course that means my mind wonders to Lucas and his unusual behaviour. Why did he get so effected when his Gran brought up my little brother? Surely he'd be interested in knowing how he was? And what's with all this hostile behaviour? Ever since I knocked on his door he's treated me like dog shit on the bottom of the shoe which he can't wait to wash off and be rid of. What's changed?

After Rosie finishes clearing the table she ushers me into the sitting room and gestures for me to sit down beside her on the sofa.

"Ask me what's on your mind." Rosie orders, taking me by surprise at how upfront she is. I think for a second, not wanting to sound like a moany bitch in front of Lucas' Gran.

"Why does he not want me here?" I let the words escape from my lips, not sure why I'm turning to this elderly stranger for help but I am nevertheless. "Before he left we were so close...I practically saved his life for god sake! I stopped his Dad from putting a bullet in his head. So why does he hate me so much?"

"He doesn't hate you Eve-"

"He does, he' made that extremely clear." I counter, swallowing the ever growing lump in my throat.

Lucas Jackson will not make me a cry baby.

"I can assure you he doesn't hate you in the slightest." Rosie repeats, her old eyes smiling wisely. "He's pushing you away."

Those words echo around my mind or the rest of the evening. Why is he pushing me away? What have I do to make him want to do that?

Rosie sets me up a bed on the sofa seeing as Lucas is staying in the guest room. Since he left the dinner table I haven't seen him at all but Rosie tells me to give him some space. To give him time. Although I'm not exactly sure what I'm waiting for.

Now I'm lying on the sofa, attempting to get some shut eye yet petrified to close my eyes in case the nightmares return. I lie awake for what feel like eternity I give up on natural sleep and slip my sleeping pills out of my bag. As much as I hate taking them, I need my strength if I'm going to bring the old Lucas back tomorrow. Sighing deeply I pop one into my mouth and swallow it whole. Snuggling down under the covers I close my eyes and wait for the drug to take hold.