Against All Odds

Chapter 29

Eve

"So let me get this straight." Lucas says, sitting on my bed watching me pace up an down my room. "You needed support and he was there. He got too close for comfort and you told him to sling his hook. He's spent the last two years trying to get you back?"
I stop pacing and nod, my palms sweating with nerves. I never thought he'd hate me that much. I never thought it had effected him that much.
"I really messed him up." I mutter, staring at my palms guiltily.
"Eve as far as I can tell he messed himself up." Lucas stands up and faces me, holding my hands in his. "As you said you couldn't pretend to like him. He took advantage of your vulnerability at the time. In my eyes you were very strong to tell him no."

I search his eyes, holding onto what he says. If I don't, I won't be able to take the guilt. If I start blaming myself...
"Why is life so stressful?" I groan, slipping out of his grasp and heading over to my CDs. Music. Music would make this clear in my mind.
"Eve stop." Lucas calls softly from behind me and I pause, staring at the Jake Bugg CD in front of me. "Come here and just take a breath."
I stare at the CD for a few seconds longer before placing it back next to my other albums and turning to face him. His face is still ever slightly bruised from his Dads constant beatings. His eyes are full of concern for me. It chokes me up to see such emotion in his eyes. I take a step closer to him, suddenly feeling the need to be near him. He's safe. He cares.
I find my hands grasping the edge of his t-shirt and he let's me pull it over his head. I fling it onto the floor, hating the scarred chest that Lucas has to bare. My fingers touch his bruised ribs gently and he shudders under my touch.
"Does it hurt?" I ask, not taking my eyes off his almost permanently purple skin.
"Not so much anymore." He admits, voice rough and husky.
"Stay here tonight." I plead, suddenly glancing up to meet his eyes. A need for comfort overcomes me. I need him, if just for the night. I need to know he's safe.
"Okay." He lifts his hand and tucks my hair behind my ear, a soft smile on his face. "I can cook for you if you want?"
A smile creeps onto my cheeks at that offer which I gladly accept. He puts his top back on, covering the scars.
"For the record, I'm sorry about everything that happened with Stan." I mention as we head out of my room.
"What happened with Stan?" My brothers voice makes us both jump and I cringe, having hoped to keep it a secret.
"Nothing happened." I reply, trying to bring myself to meet his eyes but I can't.
"Bullshit." He states firmly. "First I hear you've been fired and now you're mentioning that dick again! Tell me what's going on."
Max is stressed and clearly angry with me. I wince when he mentions me loosing my job. No doubt that's what angered him in the first place.
"It's all under control Max..." I start but he doesn't like that reply.
"I don't care about your excuses I want to know what's happened." He snaps angrily.
"Max, calm down mate." Lucas puts in calmly, noticing my brothers ever growing anger with unease. "It wasn't her fault she got fired."
"Then who's fault was it? Her boss wouldn't fire her for no good reason. And what the hell is going on with Stan?!" Max persists and I recognise the look on his face; he's looking for a fight. When he feels like he's loosing control of everything he acts out in anger. Something we seem to have in common.
"I'll explain everything to you when you've calmed down." I decide, pushing past him to jog down the stairs, Lucas right behind me. Benji's at the bottom of the stairs, worry etched on his face.
"Hey little man, want to help Lucas make dinner?" I suggest and Benji replies with a wary nod.
Lucas squeezes my shoulder in silent support as he moves past me, taking Benji into the kitchen and away from our angered big brother who'd just reached the end of the stairs.
"Spill the beans now Eve." He demands and I jerk my head in the direction of the living room. The two of us walk into the room and sit down on the sofa, the atmosphere tense.
Sadness fills me as I prepare my explanation. I have to tell him the truth, it would be unfair not too.
"You know most of it to be honest." I begin my confession, unsure how he'd take it. "What Stan did to Lily and then Harvey. What I feared he would do to Lucas. But what you don't know is the reasons behind his actions."
"Because he's a fucking lunatic!" Max says as though it's obvious. I swallow, a lump forming in my throat.
"No, it's because of me." I admit, shoulders drooping with guilt.
"What?" Max seems confused, I don't blame him. All this time he's had no idea that I am the reason Stan came into our lives.
"Remember two years ago we had real bad money problems? I told you I got a pay raise but really I was doing jobs for Stan. It was just little things for just enough money to keep us going." I can't look at his face while I say this because I know he'll be shocked and upset by what I'm admitting. "I knew I had to get out when he started to treat me differently. He told me he loved me and I turned him down. Every time he asked me I turned him away. I stopped working for him. Determined as he was to get me to fall in love with him, he dated Lily to make me jealous. That didn't work so he beat up Harvey to hurt me. I thought he was going to do the same thing to Lucas today, but I have a feeling he's finally going to move on."
Max doesn't say a word so I force my eyes to focus on his face. It breaks my heart. He's clearly struggling with a mixture of emotions. He's hurt I lied, angry I went to Stan, confused about how twisted this seems.
"I'm so sorry Max." I say sincerely, hoping he'll react slightly better than I at first thought. "I never meant for any of this to happen. And it's over now."
He's silent for a few seconds and then he stands, shaking his head and glaring down at me.
"I'm so disappointed in you Eve." He says in a low, emotionless voice and I feel my eyes heat with tears but swiftly blink them away. "We're family. We're supposed to be honest with each other. Stick together. Not go do jobs for a person I always told you to stay the hell away from!"
"I was trying to help keep our family together!" I protest, doing all I could to keep my emotions in check. "You think I didn't notice that social worker who always came round assessing how you cared for us. She would have split us up and sent Benji and I to foster homes!"
"I'd have never let it go that far." Max snaps, running a hand through his hair.
Again it's silent, the air heavy around us.
"Tomorrow I want you to go and find yourself another job." Max says, heading out of the room and I follow hesitantly. "But right now I can't even look at you."
I watch as he grabs his coat from the side and walks out the front door, slamming it behind him.
"I'm sorry." I mutter, voice breaking a little. Hurting my family is the worst thing I could do. I hate letting people down, especially those like Max who have done so much for me.
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