Oblivion // h.s

C O M E B A C K H O M E

We haven't talked in a month. I have been going day by day waiting for something but nothing. Harry doesn't even miss me. We were never like this, we'd always run back to each other the next day. I guess growing up just had a lot to do with this. This is real life now, its not a fanfic or a fairytale.

Myself hasn't been okay either. Even though I told him to leave me alone. I regret saying it and I hardly ever regret things. The boys haven't even talked to me either. Although Liam tagged me on Instagram post but instantly deleted the post before I could even see it. I'm so sad that its so frustrating.

When we were in high school, I would wait on my steps for him because I knew he'd always come back. One time he came back but he was to stubborn to talk and so was I, so we just sat there starring at a tree. Although him and I knew that being next to each other was better than being far away from each other. Maybe I should go wait on my steps. I make myself laugh. I lost him a long time ago.

Why does everyone always end up leaving?

.

I'm awoken by the door bell ringing. My eyes slowly flutter open regretting it right away because of how bright my lamp is. I must've fell asleep with it on. The doorbell continues to ring which annoys the fuck out of me. "Okay if this is some ding dong ditch shit.." I groan pushing the duvet off of me. "I will flip shit." I continue. Dragging my feet across the floor to go out of the room. The doorbell still continues to ring.

Once I reach the door my fingers pry for it to open. "Oh my fucking-" My eyes go wide at the sight in front of me. "Liam? Harry?" I wonder quickly if this is my mind messing with me or if this is real.

Liam looks at me sympathetically. Harry's arm was slung over Liam's shoulder. It looked life was sucked out of Harry. He was so pale, his eyes couldn't stay open, he could hardly even stand. "He's terribly drunk and high." Liam says walking in past me. He searches for a couch which he sees and places Harry on it. "Can he stay the night? We would take care of him and shit but Simon comes tomorrow. We still have so many papers to do. Having him around not sober would ruin all of this." He pleads squeezing my shoulders.

I look at him for a couple seconds. "He's going to wake up and realize where he is. Then he's going to yell at me. He can't stay here." The words fall out of my mouth. Something inside of me begins to hurt. "He loves you Kiara. Please." He begs me.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Ugh.. fuck.. fine." I exhale.

"Thank you so much!" He smiles so happily hugging me. "Love you!" He runs out the door sending me another smile.

"Hate you!" I yell back. I roll my eyes turning to look at the young man on my couch. I sit on the coffee table looking at him sleep. "What do I keep doing that is wrong?" I talk out loud. "I know things aren't going good for us anymore. It just nonstop arguements." I close my eyes to keep from crying.

"I think about you almost everyday in almost everything. I could be in the store looking at fucking bananas and I think of you. Everything constantly comes back to you." I wipe underneath my left eye. I get up to go get aspirin from the kitchen cabinet then a glass of water. Walking back to where I was sitting before and setting the material items on the end table.

"What am I doing Harold? I don't want this relationship to just be me. You have to want me too if you want this to not fail. You're my best friend but it feels like I'm just the girl you hang out with when you're bored." I put my head in my hands.

I start to laugh quietly, "I could never say these things to you sober. Its just gotten to that point.. where I can't even talk to you. I told you. You all will leave." I rub my face getting up from the coffee table.

I feel so fragile and dead. If you were to touch me with your fingers I'd turn to dust.

I go back to my bed, laying down not caring for anything anymore.