Justin's Journal~

January 28th, 2016

                       Hey friend, well, today was an interesting one. Emotional roller coaster for sure, the worst I've had I think. I guess it's best to tell it from beginning to end so hear I go. In the morning I was generally normal, just pretty average everyday Justin. Then for I think it was first period or third period my class had to split up because we were going to different classes for the day so that meant that me and Joy would be split from Hero and Sweetie for the time being. Which aggravates us every time, it happens but c'est la vie, what are you going to do? Then, this feeling came over me. I know well what the feeling is, but I don't. It's just that sinking feeling, where you feel nothing. It comes and goes, but that time it was strong. So, I grabbed my marker and drew the first line. I ended up drawing a dragon on part of my arm, because usually drawing helps. The feel of it is similar to something else, so it just, helps. Well, if that wasn't bad enough, apparently someone smelled gas, so the whole school had to evacuate outside to the football field. That was a little more aggravating, but at least I had Hero and Sweetie, so I perked up a little, not much, but I was better off. 

                    We stood out there for about 45 minutes in freaking cold weather, then it started to rain. So yeah, that was "lovely" (5 points for anyone who remembers that word from my last journal). Anyways, in all the confusion, we had to be moved to the gym, so by this point I'm with Afro looking for Sweetie and Hero. I see Sweetie trapped in the freaking crowd of everyone trying to climb up the stairs and we manage to get to her and all 3 of us are walking towards the Gym trying to look for Hero as we do that. Afro tried texting and calling Hero but I guess we got the wrong number? Don't worry, he showed up about a minute later with his girlfriend. When we were all together we were just laughing our butts off, it was all normal again. Until they announced that they were dismissing to lunch based on grade levels (granted, it was about 1:30-ish and we'd been disrupted by this since 11:30 so we're all just tired of the whole thing). 

                  Anyways, we grunt but we get through it and they finally call my grade so me, Sweetie and Afro all leave together. Hero and his friend had already left by this point on their own. So me, Sweet and Af get to the lunch room and me and Sweetie wait for Af to get his lunch and when he does we all head over to where we see Hero and his girlfriend sitting down. I almost didn't wanna sit down because I saw the body language he had, like he didn't wanna be disturbed, but we all ended up sitting down anyways. So there adds a bit of regret or awkwardness in my mind (on top of the  previous frustration). And a few other people were there too, some people I knew, some I didn't. I don't know what came over me, (I suspect the feeling) but it was different this time. I didn't feel numb or cold (close to it though), I felt like I wasn't meant to be there with everyone. Like I just didn't belong with all of them, so I asked Sweetie for her phone and I dove into her music. After we were done with lunch all of us headed back to the gym.

                 When we got back to the gym we had to sit there for a while until they finally announced it was safe for us to get our stuff. When it was, here they came with another annoyance, dismissing by hallway. Ugh, as if all the stuff before wasn't bad enough. Well we barely heard them announcing the hall numbers so me, Sweetie and Hero left the gym trying to get their stuff but we were told to go back. And so we did until our teacher unlocked their door. They got their stuff, and the next thing to do was go and get mine. I guess Sweetie left to go back to the gym because only Hero followed me. Me and Hero went down the hallway and right then and there the feeling started growing again, I tried to fight it and was winning at first. When we got to my classroom the door was locked but it only took a minute for an administrator to unlock it for us. I went in and went to my stuff, Hero asked if I needed any help and I said no. I collected my things and helped Hero straighten up the room a bit before we left. I left the room and tried to go down one hall to use the restroom but a teacher told me I'd have to use the ones by the gym.