Justin's Journal~

April 16th, 2016

                Hey there friend, it's been a while hasn't it. About another month. Sorry these are getting so far and in between but it's just a lot of stuff happens, or nothing happens, or just everything in between, and I just can't deal with it or deal with it and move on and, yeah. You know right? Well anyways, not much has happened this past month, except something which happened today. If you read my last entry then you'll know, Dj was a little uncertain about how everything was going. And like I said in the last one : 

                       I know it's only natural for you to feel that way, I've felt that way so many times I can't even begin to imagine. But not with you, not yet. It does hurt a little to know that you're uncertain, but like I said, it's only natural. I don't blame you for it, in fact, I'm happy you could be honest with yourself and with me. It's that kind of communication that shows you do care, even if it's just a little bit, or so much more. Whatever happens, I won't hate you. I won't try to forget you. Because you've come into my life, you made an impact on me, and you've touched my heart. So suffice to say, you're always with me, and I can't argue that. Just know that whatever happens that I have and always will love you, just maybe in a different way. If that's what it comes to, I can accept that if you can. Nice we had this little talk~ 

And it is only natural, every relationship has it. Though his doubts have been stronger recently, and with that today he broke up with me. I can't say I'm happy because you know, who's ever happy after a break up. I mean on the outside I took it well, the inside hurt a little, but you thought after all this waiting, knowing that it would happen eventually because he had doubts that I'd be prepared. But I wasn't, I was convinced that things could get better, that if we just waited 'till the summer that I could show him how much better things could get. That I could be his boyfriend. But I guess thing's just didn't work out.  I said I would accept it and I will. Maybe I just need a break from love, I mean, 2 failed relationships in what, 2 months? And none of them lasted longer than 2 months either, not even my one with Dj. It would've been 2 months next Friday. Oh well, they say the single life's the better life, so I'll try to go back to being my nice single self. Not having to depend on someone else, or have to impress someone else, yeah, I'd like that. It's best if I focus on myself for a while, being better for myself before trying to be better for someone else.

Well with that, guess I'm done for tonight. I'm heading to bed.

G'night old friend