Complicity

Part 39

I got up to a quiet house felicite had gone and everyone was still asleep which I was glad about

I had nothing to do today I always hate Saturday's and Sunday's like there's nothing to them but a few more hours in bed

I took my phone of the bench along with my coffee and sitting on the island scrolling threw Twitter sipping my coffee every now and then

Ella:
I'm in London erm any chance we could talk X

Aaliyah:
Yeh course, how about the restaurant next to central station I think it's called blue sylics X

Ella:
Yeh course it's 11 now so say around half 12 X

I agreed before going into the shower

"Don't crash my car please babe" Niall pouted

"Don't call me babe please darl" I pouted "I won't Niall don't worry" I moaned grabbing my bag of the chair

I could feel Harry's eyes on me but I just ignored them and walked out to the black Audi A6 sedan I liked this car but it's not as good as his white bmw oh and Harry's new Audi R8 that is what you call beauty anyways enough about Harry

I arrived at the restaurant and parked to her mini which signalled she was already here plus she was in the window right next to my parking space

I walked over to see a more grown up version of Ella I almost didn't realise my best well ex best friend

"You look amazing" she said taking a breath in

I looked down at my black ripped skinny jeans white crop top and leather jacket plus my adidas superstars "I look like a homeless person" I laughed looking at her more exercise clothing

"Sorry I've just came from work hence the joggers and stuff" she laughed moving my drink closer to me

"work? Thank you but you didn't have to I would have paid for it myself"

"I work as a model now for top shop, river island shops like that it's not really big but and no please I owe you big time" she sighed

The waiter brung our meals over "ally im so sorry I let that dick get in between us I feel so lost with out you" she carried on

"Dick? Did yous end it" I said acting shocked

"Yep he was cheating on me with like the rest of the girls back home" she shrugged locking her phone

"Oh I'm so sorry" I said holding her hand

"No I'm sorry for everything I said i promise I didn't mean anything, you are amazing anyone to be your best friend or boy friend is the luckiest person ever" she smiled "we friends"

"Yeh" I replied paying half of the cheque

"OMG it that your car" she said holding her mouth

"No it's nialls" I said wiggling my eye brows "I always thought you and him would off ended up together"

She shrugged before hugging me good bye and drove away

The drive home was terrible for some reason I felt so stressed just knowing that I'm going to get back and face everyone

I pulled up putting the passcode into the gate it saying it was incorrect like 5 times before fianlly letting me take the car back to its parking spot which just wouldn't work

I screamed hitting the chair the start of the day went so well now it's like this

I just left it in the middle of the yard before picking  up my things and walking back into the house

"Ergggggggg" I moaned as my bag got stuck in the door

"Having a bad day" Harry asked walking in from the kitchen

"Some could say that and your not making it better" I fake smiled before leaving the space and moving into the sitting room

"I'm sorry" his voice spoke behind me

I rolled my eyes straightening up the things on the coffee table "the others are out we could talk"

"About what Harry" I shouted turning round taking both hands threw my hair "because it seems that every time we 'talk' I forgive you and you do the same thing again, I'm done with all this shit Harry because that's all it is... Shit you were right once again nothing going to happen between us I'm sick of me being your little secret and you being mine I'm done with secrets now I can't do this anymore I'm sorry Harry but you've pushed it to far this time"

"I've pushed it to far" he defended "your the one that begs for me every time, you wear slutty little things just to make me realise I've made a mistake and don't say you don't because I have heard yours and fizzys conversations, you walk round in short shorts, you look like that, your fucking amazing what did you expect I know you wanted it to happen you were drunk but you wernt that drunk you've told me you were ready loads of times but me being the gentleman told you know but that dress you wore and the way I new I'd upset you just made me feel like shit I missed you so fucking much just I don't know I'm sick of always explaining myself if your done then your done"

He left the room holding up his hands I wrapped my arms around my shoulders and begin to cry I hated him but I love him at the same time and I fucking hate that I love him because he's Harry

Before I met him I didn't have a care in the world I would dress to impress me, I was so vain and never had any doubts about myself but now I've met him any little imperfection kills me I'm always comparing myself you other girls he's been with

I'm better without him but I just need him to be the way he was when I first met him not the boy he is now because honestly I don't know who that boy is

I miss the old Harry, I miss the old me

Arguments again I'm starting to get sick of these now but I always find a way to include them I need them to be lovey and I know I'm not the only one who wants that

Kisses xxxx