Rita: Good morning Wizarding World, Rita Skeeter here
Hermione and Harry groaned.
reporting to you live from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It's dawn out here on the Quidditch field as we prepare to bear witness to the epic battle between Pee-Wee Gryffindor and Slythereen Teams.
"Pee-Wee Gryffindors?" The Gryffindors repeated whilst the Slytherins were snickering.
Today, dear readers, we'll be deciding which team deserves to be remembered as champions
"Gryffindor!" The Gryffindor's chanted.
"Slytherins!" The Slytherins yelled.
and who will forever be disgraced as eternal wienies.
"Slytherin!"
"Gryffindor!"
Why, what do we have here? You there! Nerd, what can you tell us about this gruesome sight young man?
"Please stop calling me a nerd." Neville begged.
Neville: Well, that's our coach, Professor Lupin. It appears he killed this beautiful doe in some kind of blood lust.
Remus hid his face while the marauder's laughed at him.
Remus: Whoa, OH GOD, HELP ME! What the...WHO'D I KILL?
"What?" Remus said scared.
"He's probably joking."
Rita: Good morning, Mr. Lupin, my name is Rita Skeeter, I'm a reporter for the Daily Prophet.
Remus: Oh, hi!
Rita: Care to explain what's going on here?
"Well Neville just told you so no need to ask."
Remus: Well, I think that everybody's just getting excited for a nice game of Quidditch. I know my team is rearing to go.
Rita: No, I'm referring to the slaughtered doe and the fact that your entire person is soaked in blood.
"It's a tradition?" Remus made up.
Yes, it's tradition that every game,
"Haha told you!"
before the match, that the Gryffindor Pee-Wee Quidditch Team kill a defenseless doe and devour it. Ah, in doing so we are able to absorb the power and ferocity...of a doe. Pretty cool huh, Shlongbottom?
"Don't call me that."
"If it makes you feel better I'm called ugly." Hermione said.
Neville: That's Bambi's mom.
"It's a children's movie." Hermione said before anyone could ask.
Remus: Hahaha. Just eat the doe, Shlongbottom.
"What?! No!"
Neville: I couldn't!
"Exactly!"
Remus: Eat it. Pushes Neville towards doe. Nom nom, nom nom. That's good.
"Oh god that's disgusting."
Rita: Mr. Lupin, Mr. Lupin, it's widely rumored you are engaged in a heated quarrel with a one Severus Snape. What do you make of the allegations made by Professor Snape that you are, and I quote, "Unfit to teach children, are a danger to yourself and others, has never graduated Hogwarts, and are a washed-up...loser."
