Hermione: Hello boys!
Harry and Ron: Hey Hermione.
Hermione: Um, well, I'm headed home for the winter holiday for a few weeks, but, um, before I go I just wanted to give this to you guys. Happy Christmas.
Ron: I wonder what it is.
Harry: I wonder what this could be.
Ron: I hope it's a puppy.
Harry and Ron: Puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy...
"I would feel sorry for the puppy if one of you's was the owner."
Harry: A book?
Hermione: Yeah.
Harry: Gross, Merry Christmas, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, huh. Throws book on floor.
"Never disrespect a book or I will personally kill you."
"Yes Hermione."
Hermione: No wait! It's not just any book. It's a scrapbook. I made it of all of our memories of our first semester at Hogwarts. See, here's the tickets from the Hogwarts Express and here is a clipping from the Prophet about that Quidditch game you guys won.
Harry: Oh yeah, "Remus Lupin Eats Shit, Gryffindor Wins".
"Great heading." James and Sirius laughed.
Harry: Hey, Merry Christmas.
Ron: Merry Christmas to you. Oh wow. Hey Hermione, why is there a clipping in here from the Prophet about Sirius Black?
"That is stupid granger."
Hermione: 'Cause they mentioned Harry in it.
"Oh."
Ron: Oh! Um, oh "Before his escape from Azkaban, Sirius Black went on the record saying 'I want to find Harry Potter' that's you 'and I want to drug and kill him.'".
"Aw thanks Sirius." Harry said sarcastically.
Hermione: Are you nervous Harry? He is a murderer.
Harry: Not really, I mean, I live at Hogwarts and it's an impenetrable fortress.
"Well actually no." Hermione said.
"Name two times you've nearly died." Sirius challenged her.
"First year, troll. Second year, Basilisk."
"Oh."
I don't think any of us have anything to worry about-
Snape: SIRIUS BLACK! SIIIRRIIUUUS BLA—oh, checkmate—SIRIUS BLACK!
Everyone laughed.
Dumbledore: What about him?
Snape: He was spotted by the paintings on the Third Floor. The Dogs Playing Poker peed on the carpet.
Hermione, Lily and Harry laughed. Ron fake laughed.
"What you laughing at?" Ginny said.
"Oh that's a famous painting." Hermione said.
"Oh that's a famous painting." Ron repeated trying to pretend he knew.
The Screaming Man has never looked more terrified. It took the entire Last Supper to calm him down.
They continued to laugh.
Sirius Black has broken into our castle.
Everyone: AH! Snape jumps into Rons arms.
