Self-loathing and cold-weather.(Human!KARKAT X SUICIDAL!READER )

Open wounds.

As the two of you finished the movie, you noticed--Karkat stopped tending to your wounds-- he kept glancing at you from the corners of his eyes.

You tried to ignore it, but he kept doing it. Finally you gave in.

"Is there something wrong?" You asked him.

He jumped.

"No!--no...well- I mean-fuck- Kanaya told me that you had a bunch of injuries on your back...a-and I don't really know how to ask you..."

"Oh." Was all you replied with. You couldn't help but smile a little. Such an angry guy like him acting all flustered. It was really cute.

"Well, you can address them if it worries you that much." You snickered and turned around, facing away from him.

You could physically hear him gulp and he lifted up your shirt a bit.

He began dressing your wounds quickly. Your face reddened a bit and you could practically feel the warmth off of him like a campfire as he continued.

Suddenly he stopped. You waited to see if maybe he was getting stuff but he didn't start going again.

"(Y/n)....I'm so sorry..." He whispered.

You turned to look at him, and disbelief hit you like a speeding semi-truck.

Karkat Vantas was crying. He looked down at his hands as tears ran down his face.

"Karkat...." You said softly.

Oh god. He's crying over me, why is he doing this??? Oh god oh god oh god you though to yourself as his shoulders continued to heave an his tears continued to fall.

"I'm--" he looked up, " I'm such a fucking screw up. I promised to protect you and on the very first fucking day of the job you get pummeled. You shouldn't even be here! I don't deserve this, I'm such a fucking--"

"Stop. Please." You interrupted. Suddenly your arms were around him in a tight embrace. 

He sat up, rigid as a nail.

"Please don't demean yourself... Hell I don't even know why you're crying over me. " you said to him. "You're the only person who actually gave a fuck. So thanks."

He was quiet for a moment. But that was alright, it made you new relaxed.

Finally you guys stopped hugging and returned to your movie.

You ended up sleeping the night there  and waking up in Karkat's bed, alone, the next day.

-----

You spent your weekend thinking of Karkat nonstop. He actually cared about you. He cried because he couldn't save you.

Yes, you kinda felt disappointed when he didn't keep his promise, but it wasn't like you believed in him in the first place. So many people have let you down in your lifetime. You tend to learn not to get your hopes up.

But you still couldn't believe how much you were thinking about him. The way his hair was messy, like he didn't care. How he threw fits of rage over the most idiotic things. It was really cute.

Could this really be that cursed feeling? The one you swore never to utter in your life? It must be, right? You've never felt like this ever, so...
What else could it be?

You sighed, and jump on your bed. This doesn't really get you anywhere. Might as well sleep. You need it anyway.

You plugged your earbuds in and turned to you (f/a), (f/s).

Soon you drifted off to sleep.

You dreamt of sickness and Karkat.

-----

The next day you woke up. You finished your daily routine and raced downstairs.

You dad was sitting at the table.

"Good morning sweet heart!" He said brightly. You didn't reply.

He sighed heavily.

"You know I really wished you'd actually speak to me."

You snickered. "Well I wished you spoke to mom before she, ya know, died."

He winced. You knew it stung, you wanted it too. You could never forgive him.

You walked out the door, not giving a single glance back.

Walking to the bus stop, you began to listen to music.

Once you arrived, you stood there not talking to anyone, as usual. Then you were pulled out if this normal occurrence by someone tapping your shoulder.

It was a girl, with orange hair. She had pointed red glasses on and a wicked smile on her lips.

"Hey!" Her voice was high and a bit raspy. "You're Karkat's new friend! Remember me? Terezi pyrope?"

"Oh..." Clearly you didn't "yeah, yeah. Hey. How's it going?" You were kind if confused.

Behind her stood a boy with black hair and really nerdy glasses on. He smiled showing of his buck teeth. He wore a blue shirt with and a black jacket.

Next to him stood a taller girl, with blonde hair and a devious smile. She had blue lipstick on and had a shirt with the Scorpio zodiac sign on it. To top it off, she wore a dark blue sweater- jacket.

"Of course she doesn't remember you! Only I am worth remembering! Remember me, Vriska?!" She cackled.

You rubbed your arm awkwardly. You didn't remember any of them.

"C'mon guys, stop making he feel weird. She clearly remembers me the most. Hahaha. Just kidding " the boy said, " anyway, I'm john by the way, I didn't know your bus stop was here! Did you move?"

You shook our head. "Nope, I've actually been here the whole time."

"Huh....I've never really noticed you. You're so quiet." John giggled.

"Is it because of that bitch, Kristina?" Vriska asked quietly.

Your eyes widen in shock. She actually looked angry. Honestly you didn't know what to do. You've never really talked about your bully problem before.

"I....yeah... She doesn't like me very much..." You muttered.

Vriska laughed.

"Doesn't like you? Well I can see that. I just don't understand why. You seem like a very nice girl....maybe of a few accidents were to happen to her, she would understand."

Terezi added "I agree, you deserve justice."

John laughed nervously

"Hahaa, c'mon guys, that's a funny joke."

The two females turned to him with a. dead serious expression on their face.

John gulped.

The four of you were pulled from your conversation by the bus pulling up.

You all got in and headed off to school.