Secrets are my Sanity

Chapter 3

Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them

Sometimes I wonder why this is happening

It's like nothing I can do would distract me when

I think of how I shot myself in the back again. –Figure .09

Chapter 3

As the night got later it was time to call it a night. They had gotten an outline done of what their model display would consist of after dinner, Shane’s mother had forbid them from skipping food for homework.

Nick was packing up his stuff and Shane noticed how tense his shoulders were. “Are you ok or is the garlic getting you again?” he was trying to lighten the mood.

“It’s nothing.” He offered a smile which was weak and sad at best. “See you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Shane blocked the door. “This project is a big deal, it’ll make up half of our grade. Why don’t you crash here and we keep working on it?” he hoped that sounded plausible. He saw that Nick didn’t want to go home, he knew he didn’t have the best relationship with his parents and couldn’t in his heart send him back there.

Nick’s shoulders dropped, his backpack hit the floor. “Are you sure?”

Shane smiled, he was glad he didn’t have to talk him into it too much. “Yeah, we have a roll out bed for when relatives stay. I’ll be back.” He dashed out of his room to go let his parents know Nick wasn’t going anywhere. He found them along with Michael in the kitchen. “I invited Nick to stay over.”

“Ooh.” Michael cooed loaded with inappropriate suggestions. Shane reached out and hit him across the arm. “What is with everyone hitting me today?”

“Stop giving them reasons to.” Their father advised.

Their mother ignored the whole exchange and address what Shane had announced. “To work on your project?”

“Yeah.” He wanted to tell them about Nick’s parents, how he looked depressed at the thought of going home but that wasn’t Shane’s place and he kept his mouth shut.

Michael didn’t know when to shut up. “If you decide to take advantage of him in the middle of the night remember my room is next to yours and I don’t want to hear it.” this time his own mother hit him across the arm. “Shit I’m going to have a bruise the size of Canada on this arm tomorrow.”

She hit him again. “What have I told you about cursing in front of me?”

“Stop being such a hard ass.” Michael jumped out of the way before she could get him again.

“Shane, the rollout bed is in the closet upstairs, let me know if you need any help.”

“You have the patience of a saint mom.” He kissed her goodnight.

“With your brother I have to.”

Shane ran back up the stairs to the closet his mom was taking about. Ten minutes later he had it set up, with Nick’s help, in the corner of his room. “You didn’t have to do all of this, the floor is fine.” Nick sat, sitting on his temporary bed.

“No, it’s not.” He sat on is own bed and pulled his sneakers off.

Nick watched as he stood again and moved to the dresser. He was thankful for the help and invitation; he wasn’t in the mood to go home at all. Last night he had gotten into a pretty heated argument with his uncle and knew the man hadn’t forgotten it yet.  

“Here.”

At the sound of Shane’s voice he looked up and caught the clothes he tossed at him. He was going to thank him for the sleepwear but his throat closed as he watched Shane carelessly take off the shirt he wore to school. It was a grey button down; he undid the first three buttons then pulled it over his head. He didn’t wear anything under it and Nick saw everything.

Shane was extremely tall but he wasn’t skin and bones. He was….amazing with a chest of steel, every little muscle defined. Nick’s eyes were glued to the indents of his hips that disappeared into his jeans. Why did Shane have to be so perfect, so beautiful, such a damn turn on?

In the past Nick could forget he found men attractive on TV, there was no one in front of him what turned his stomach into mush and made his mouth water…until Shane. Perfect, beautiful, nice guy Shane. There had to be something, anything, wrong with him.

He couldn’t stop his traitor brain from imagining what it’d be like to pin Shane against the nearest wall and kiss him senseless, to know what that perfect chest felt like.

Shane pulled on a loose fitting t-shirt for bed and took off his jeans, opting for only his boxers to sleep in. Nick mentally groaned, this was pure torture.

Saving him from his impure thoughts was Michael of all people. He came strolling in the room with his trademark sarcastic smile. “So what’s the plan? Every good sleepover needs a good plan.”

“We’re not ten.” Shane said.

“No you’re over the hill and have no sense of partying skills.” Michael had a way with words, he liked to offend even his own family and especially people he didn’t like. For so long he had been a bully but now he found love and stuck to using words to tease/offend but at least now he had a limit.

“It’s eleven on a school night, go away.” Shane was very patient and an all around nice guy, it took a lot for him to get annoyed.

Michael walked over to Nick and sat. “I don’t know how you can stand being around his boring ass.”

Nick smiled as he realized why Michael was especially in a mood. “What did Julienne do now?” he asked about his best friend.

“Something about how all I want to do is stay in and only use her for sex.”

“So the boring one here is really you.” he felt good to get that dig in. The sound of Shane chuckling drew Nick’s attention back to him, they smiled at each other. It shouldn’t have meant anything but it had Nick’s stomach clenching again.

“It’s the same stuff all the time. Geez it’s like we’re an old married couple but I still want to bang her.” Michael complained.

“Hey, watch it I will kick your ass for talking about her without respect.”

“Dude, you’re such a girl no wonder you’re getting along with Shane.” He was joking, teasing, being typical Michael but that sentence had Nick scared, did Michael pick up on something? He feared someone would figure out his secret and blurt it without his control. “I’ll forgive you for being such a killjoy if you talk to her.”

Nick started to relax. “I care because….?” He grinned. “I’ll talk to her but know this, I’m on her side and you need to stop being such a lazy ass. Take some vitamins or something.”

“I have stamina, thank you very much.”

It was a nice change to be the one to annoy Michael and not the other way around. He was adorable with his ready-to-fly-off-the-handle look. Nick had always thought Michael was a good looking guy but it ended there because he wasn’t the biggest fan of his personality, unlike with his brother who seemed to have it all.

Nick stood from his cot and headed to the bathroom to get changed. He hoped Shane didn’t think anything of it and suspect again he had a problem him. It wasn’t Shane’s homosexuality that bothered him, it was his own.