Sorry, I Love You!

37. Sorry, I Love You

Song of the chapter// Cry by Jason Walker

Eugene Hansen's POV....

I watched Chris as he put on his tie and then shrugged on his black coat, getting ready for Julie's funeral. He hadn't talked about her nor had shed any tears after her death. He thought I didn't know what he was doing or what he's trying to do but I knew.

I had been in this path and I clearly understand the pain he was going through. He was trying to feel numb to block out the pain, exactly what I did after Ma passed away. And, that's where he's wrong. Trying to block those pain would only increase it and would lead you to a darker path. The only way to surpass it was to face it and let it out.

"Are you alright?" I asked him as he put his cellphone inside his pocket. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I am fine. There's nothing to talk." He stated firmly, his voice as cold as mine used to be.

"I know what you are trying to do. So, don't."

"I don't know what you're saying." He averted his eyes away from mine, walking towards the table to pour a drink for himself.

"Don't play dumb. You know exactly what I am talking about. I have been down this path already and I can assure you that it won't help you in the long run. So, don't do it."

"Then, what am I supposed to do, Gene? What?" he yelled frustrated, as he threw the glass in his hand down on the floor, breaking it into pieces. "It hurts, Gene. It fucking hurts. I promised Julie that I will move on and I will be happy but she's my happiness. And, she is no longer with me. She – She is dead, Gene. SHE IS DEAD." He shouted, with a loud cry. I was instantly by his side. "Julie will never come back. How am I supposed to live without her?"

"You have to, buddy because that's what she wants." I grabbed his shoulder firmly, turning him around to look me in the eye. "I won't tell you to forget her. You and I both know that she will always be in our heart and that's where we have to keep her alive. You can't let yourself be change, Chris because that's not the person she fell in love with. If you want to keep her alive forever, then do what she asked you to. Don't change and face your fears. Whatever you are feeling right now, just let it out."

"I can never forget her, Gene. I love her." he croaked and then for the first time after her death, he cried.

*****

Abigail Devon's POV....

I watched when people carried Julie to the grave.

I watched when she was buried into the earth.

I watched when people started leaving after saying their condolences.

I watched when another one of the people I loved getting in the category of dead.

I felt empty. It was like the whole universe was against my happiness. In span of three weeks I lost my brother and my sister. Julie was just not my friend – she was the sister I never had. And, now she was gone too. Why did everyone I love die on me?

I wiped the single drop of tear that escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, reading the words written on top of her tombstone. In loving memory of Julie Lawson. A loving friend.

Shifting my eyes from the tombstone, I tilted my head to the side and looked at Eugene who was talking with Jed and Scot. A pang of guilt shot through my chest. Yesterday was the hearing of my parent's case I reopened.