Am I Transgender?

New Look

     I got a hair cut, no not just got one, but actually cut my own hair. I cut it all off, well most of it at least. I feel so free. When I started with the shaver in my hand and looked down my hands were shaking and I was so scared and nervous. I think I wasn't scared because I was about the cut my hair shorter than any length I had it my entire life, but because I thought so much could go wrong. I remember in 6th grade I cut my hair to my shoulders and honestly it looked disgusting, it curled up at the ends and I hated it so much, so I was afraid I was going to hate my new hair cut. But honestly I wish I would've done it sooner.

     There is too much social stigma around hair it's just so hard to understand why. Especially now, having short hair. I feel every now and then I will get some looks and glances from people in the hallways at school, but there have only been a handful of people. All my friends really supported it and told me I looked really good. Even though I haven't really introduced the gender fluid thing to anyone, I don't think I've felt better about my appearance in my entire life. And now washing, drying, and styling hair definitely takes a lot less effort and time.

     The only few comments I've gotten that weren't too great were I miss your long hair so much, and why'd you cut it, it was so long. Which honestly those comments aren't that bad at all. I was so afraid so many people would say things along the lines of the haircut doesn't suit me, but it was quite the opposite. In fact I now have two more friends who are strongly considering getting their hair cut really short now.

     I even convinced my mom to buy me mens deodorant, so no more hesitating to use it, and no more angry brother taking it away. In all honestly these past few days since I've cut my hair have been so great. If I feel feminine one day I can easily apply a little makeup, wear a bit more form fitting clothes and bam I'm feeling great. If I feel masculine the simple solution is to wear more masculine clothes and just feel awesome. I'm so happy. 

     My word of advice to anyone out there considering cutting their hair off, do it. Don't ever hesitate one second. Maybe if you aren't comfortable doing it yourself get a trusted friend to help you with it (only if you really have to and want to), or just try scheduling an appointment, or getting a parent too. And with summer around the corner a good excuse to cutting hair to transphobic parents, or even just parents who don't like short hair on girls, is it'll get hot out and my hair will be too long. I wish you luck if you want to cut your hair and hope everything turns out as good for you as it did me.