2015 was the year I regret most. it was the year I went through such horrific anguish. I would go back and stop myself from making all the mistakes if I could. I truly believe I lost it all that year... but I just know, I can feel it within myself, that this year will be like none other. and I'm not saying that to give myself hope. I will do all that I can to make this year better and worth living. I believe that I do have a purpose, I just haven't found it yet.
strife will lose, fear will lose.
I have learned that in order to keep a positive mind, I will surround myself with good people. this whole life thing isn't about regrets, it's about love and support. it is about dancing even when there's no music, not about worrying why those damn street lights don't stay green for you. It is about smiling and laughing.
I have stopped myself from becoming to self obsessed. I just feel like I've become too involved with pitying myself. I only allow myself to self-pity for about 15 minutes to an hour, depending on how bad the situation, then I go on with my day, since I don't know when it'll all be ripped away from me. because in your teenage years, everything seems like the end of the world. but one day, it might just be the end.
I wanna say and do everything I felt like I need to before my time is up. I hope that my loved ones see what I'm chasing in the present and if they disagree, they don't have to tag along in my journey. I wanna help others more than I wanna help myself, but although it may seem selfish, I h a v e to put myself first... last year, it was all about being what people wanted me to be, but now I see that that was so wrong.
I hope 2016 will be a good year for you guys too! I really wish nothing but the best for you all! I love you so much and honestly thanks a lot for reading my work. I can pretend like I don't care and all but it really truly is my everything. I'm a l w a y s here for you! ((:
thank you for all the advice you have given me!
