The Perfect Storm

Promises are Broken; Tell me are you happy now?

Chris' POV

*~*One Week Earlier*~*

It's been terrible. I can't keep away from her. I remember seeing her kissing Ryan, when he was trying to fix her thigh and the thought of her being with someone else completely broke me. If I drank, I swear I would have been drunk every night since then. But, thank god I don't drink. I have to give the fans the show they paid for, the show many of them were hoping to see.
But Scar.. she was something else. She was hurting. I was the one who could have saved her, but instead I ran away. I don't deserve her. I've been watching her slowly kill herself. She's starting to get better, but it kills me inside knowing that everything was being made worse because of when I broke up with her. I know, I shouldn't blame myself. I can't help it though. She was already damaged when we got together, and I just made it worse.

The week went on, and I barely saw her. She was always either sleeping in her bunk or hiding in the back lounge. I don't think she's eaten, but I did see Ricky bring her something from Starbucks today. I always wondered what happened between those two. They always seem to be hiding something, but when I asked Balz about it, he just said that he knew nothing. It made me wonder why he'd lie to me. I could clearly see some history there. I just don't know what. I saw Ricky make his way into the back lounge, I said by to Max and Ronnie as they left and Ricky went into the back lounge, he shut the door behind him, and I somewhat heard them talking. After a few minutes, I went to interrupt and I saw him kissing her. I shut the door quietly, and left the bus to walk. I lost my chance. I won't get her back now, especially if they get together.

On my walk, I ran into Ryan from Falling in Reverse.

"Hey Chris, got a minute?"

"Sure Ry, whats up?"

"I don't think I can keep playing for you guys, I barely know the songs and I guess I just don't want to mess up you're performance. I know I was off beat the other day and I kinda screwed up." He said rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's fine, I think Scar might be good enough to play again soon, but I can make some calls to get someone out here, just until he gets here, can you still play for us?"

"Sure, thanks for understanding man." Ryan said and went back towards his bus.

I made some calls, and got Vinny to come out for the remainder of the tour. He had no idea what Scar had been going through, and he was okay with filling in for her.  He made it out the next day and took over, and our set got a lot better without Ryan on drums.

I just went through the motions I needed to just to make my band happy and the fans to not notice I was hurting. The week went by in a blur, that was until Scar made her first appearance at our set.

I was half way through Devil's Night, and I saw Ryan motion over to side stage, and I looked and saw her. She looked gorgeous. Her long black and white hair was perfectly straight. She was wearing a Motionless in White tank and black and white shorts with black converse. I tried to make her come out on stage and she nodded no, but my motioning for her to come out drew the attention of the other guys who tried to do the same.

When the song ended I pulled her out on stage and introduced her. That's when I got an idea. To perform 'Break the Cycle'. Her favorite song we wrote from the new record. I also think maybe it'd help her, she's breaking her habits, she's getting better and maybe it'll remind her that she can break the cycle of the abuse she's causing herself.

After some arguing, Ricky handed her a mic, and we started the song. She took over for me on clean vocals, and she did amazing. She always says she can't sing, but she seriously can. She has an amazing voice. After the song she put the mic back on its stand and ran off stage. I sighed, and we finished the set. I figured I'd find her later. After the set, I made my way back to the bus and I didn't find her there. I caught Balz's arm as he was heading towards the bunks.

"You seen Scar?" I asked

"Not since our set. I'm just glad she's getting out. She's been in so much pain lately that if she's feeling up to being out, let her." He shrugged.

"Hey guys," Ryan said. "Are you forgetting she's just getting clean and is barely a month sober?"

"Shit..." Balz mumbled.

"I'll check the merch tent. Balz go check the Falling in Reverse bus." I sighed, hoping she wasn't out getting high.

As I was making my way to our merch tent a few fans stopped me, and I took pictures with each of them and excused myself. I didn't want to be rude, but time was kind of an issue here.

I finally got to our merch tent and I saw her sitting there messing on her phone. I was so happy to see her.

"You were really good up there." I smiled at her. I pulled her to her feet and hugged her.

"I was so scared, I thought I was going to forget the words. But, that is my favorite song from the new record. Thanks for letting me sing it with you." She said shyly. She was adorable and I just wanted to kiss her.

"I'm sorry, but can I try something real quick?" I asked, and before she could answer, I kissed her. She kissed me back, and I felt her lace her fingers through my hair. I pulled her closer to me, and she stepped back, speechless. I knew it, she was with Ricky, but maybe she still had feelings for me too? Why would she kiss me like that if she didn't.

"Sorry..." I said really quick and turned to leave.

"I missed that Chris.." She said quietly.

I stopped in my tracks and turned back to face her.

"You did?"

"Chris, I really did love you. We just weren't ready for a relationship. Hell, I still do love you. But things are complicated right now." She paused for a moment. "I'm getting better. If you can deal with that, I would like to see where we can go."

I couldn't help but smile. "I'd like that." I said to her, and this time I wasn't losing her. I pulled her into a hug, and as I was about to let her go, I heard her yawn.

"You really aren't used to being out again are you?" I laughed a bit.

"Chris, I haven't been out of the bus in forever. I have no idea what city we're in. I didn't even know Vinny was back."

"Come on then." I said and threw her over my shoulder.

"Wait." She said and crawled around so her arms were around my neck and I was carrying her like that. A few fans saw us and took pictures, but she had pretty much fallen asleep. I got back to the bus with her, and she was slightly awake. I laid her in the back lounge, covering her with her blanket she kept back here, and went to leave. She grabbed my arm, forcing me to stay. She pulled me back down to her, and I wanted her so bad right now, but I know she needs to rest.

"You need sleep" I said cautiously.

"I need you" She whispered, and kissed me.

We ended up sleeping together, and everything felt right. I missed her so much, but at the same time, I might end up hurting her again. She threw my shirt on after we finished and she fell asleep cuddling me. I didn't want to move and wake her up, or have her think I was leaving her by me getting up, so I just laid there and played with her hair.

I must have dozed off at some point, because Balz came in and shook us awake. He looked pissed.

"Scar, get dressed. We're going for a walk." He glared right at me. I sighed, knowing I'd hear about this later.

After she left, I grabbed a different shirt from my bunk, and laid back, relaxing. Wondering if Scar was really what I wanted. I couldn't take it before when she was hurting herself. I wasn't able to deal. How can I deal with her when she's healing from a drug addiction. I need to be realistic. Maybe Ricky is better for her. He has so much more patience than I do, and though I do love her, I need to let her go. She's only getting clean for her brother, it's obvious she's not okay. But, this could be my last chance to have her. I guess, only time will tell what happens. I just can't bail on her this time. I did it before and I could have lost her forever. I need to at least try to be patient with her, just to save her.