Bury the hatchet?

Chapter 41

Currently listening to: Panic! At The Disco: Impossible Year 

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____________________________________________________________________________________Chapter 41

When I arrived at Ronnie's house I was a wreck, Jenna came running out the house to greet me at the car but when she saw my tear stained face and my puffy red eyes her smile instantly dropped.

"What happened?!" She exclaimed opening the car door for me, that was it for me I broke down in front of her causing her to crouch down to my level and embrace me in a tight hug. "Hey! Hey, shush it's okay," she cooed rubbing circles on my back. "Why don't we calm down, get you inside I'll make you some coffee and you can tell me what's gone on okay?" I nodded, I felt like a little child as she helped me stand up out of the car and into the house. She walked me to the couch and left me in the living room whilst she went into the kitchen and made us coffee, the whole time I barley moved and I just stared at the wall in front of me I didn't notice her when she had come back holding a cup of coffee out toward me.

"Here ya go sweetie." She said softly handing me the mug; I thanked her still not looking away from the spot I'd been staring at for the past 5 or so minutes. "Think your calm enough to tell me what's happened?" She asked placing her mug on the coffee table after she'd taken a sip. I took 3 deep breaths before tarring my eyes away from the spot on the wall and looked her in the eye I heard her gasp when she saw my reddening cheek. "How did that happen?!" She gasped.

"Craig did it." I whispered loud enough for her to hear.

"He did what?!" She exclaimed. "I'm going to go round there-" she went to stand but I grabbed her arm.

"Please Jenna don't." I pleaded, she stared me in the eyes for a few seconds before sitting back in the position she was sat in before.

"Whatever you say hun, but please tell me why he hit you?" I sighed before telling her everything about the argument, about Craig's drinking, about what was said between us then about him hitting me and instantly regretting it and following me to the bedroom apologizing.

"I don't even know if leaving has made all this worse Jenna, I just... That man is not the same man I fell in love with and I just don't think at the minute that I can raise a baby with him when he's like he is!" I could feel the tears begin to creep back but I blinked them away, Jenna pulled me in for another hug and ran her fingers through my hair.

"There's nothing wrong with what you did today, we've all noticed a change in Craig, ever since Max left the band again he's been different. You've just tried to talk it out with him and he's over re-acted; you were thinking of the welfare of your child and he's the one who should be round here groveling and pleading for you."

"I told him not to call me or text me, I'll let him know when I'm ready to talk. I don't expect him to plea or grovel; all I want him to do is cut down the drinking! Be more responsible! But he's just not at the minute and it frustrates me so much I can't handle it anymore!"

"I know hun, but you're more than welcome here. Ronnie won't be back for a few more days so we can spend those days as girly days! I can call up Crystal and Jenn and we can go out for a pampering session cause I think we all need a girly catch up!" Jenna exclaimed excitedly, her enthusiasm and her plans cracked a smile from me.

"Sure thing, and thank you for just being here and listening to me." I said hugging her for the millionth time already.

"Hun it's what girlfriends do okay? Now we can bring your stuff in later, but right now I think Netflix and chocolate is in order!" She exclaims jumping up off the couch. She hooked up her Mac to the TV setting up a movie whilst I went to the kitchen and grabbed as much sugary shit I could lay my hands on before heading back to the living room where the movie was just starting and Jenna had brought blankets from upstairs and had laid them across the couch. I smiled at the set up and put the bowl of junk food on the table and flopped on the couch next to Jenna and focused on the movie.

Craig's POV:

I watched as the love of my life drove away with our unborn child and as soon as they were out of sight I collapsed to the floor and just cried twirling her ring around in my fingers. I wished that everything went back to how it was a few months ago, before all the stress from both my bands started to get to me, before family issues started to creep into the picture, before I felt like I was going to let my unborn child down before he'd even been born; yep even before he was born I felt like I was going to fuck up his life and put him through the same stresses I put Leila through.

I felt like such a failure at that moment, nothing from then on could light up my world like Amber did. Even on days where I really didn't want to smile she'd somehow find a way to crack one out of me just by her being with me. How could I let the best thing that had ever happened to me walk out of my life like that?!

After a few minute sat on the floor crying, I pulled myself up off the floor and shut the door walking slowly back into the living room, I instantly noticed how much more quieter it was without Amber here, the way she used to walk round and sing to herself or the way that her laugh would fill the house really did make this place feel like home but now that was gone I didn't know what was home anymore.

I collapsed on the couch and noticed the box of strawberries she'd been eating before I'd wrecked everything and her hoodie she'd taken off before she'd gone into the kitchen. I felt more tears well up and I just lay down and hugged her hoodie against me and cried taking in her sweet scent, I wanted nothing more than to hold her and kiss her right now but of course my fucking mouth always had to wreck everything.

I must've fell asleep on the couch because I woke several hours later; it was very dark out and I felt like shit. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes whilst I shuffled to the kitchen; I took a quick glance at the clock, which hung on the kitchen wall "11:40". I knew that Amber defiantly wouldn't be coming back this late.

"Might as well attempt to make myself feel good for a few hours at least." I thought to myself as I made my way to the cupboard where we kept the alcohol, I scanned the bottles of booze and spirits before setting my eyes of a bottle of honey Jack. I pulled it out and shuffled back to the living room not even bothering fetching a glass and deciding to drink straight from the bottle.

I spent the rest of the night attempting to escape reality for a while and pass out. I drank my way through the bottle whilst I watched crappy reality TV shoes; the kind that Amber loves to watch but she'd never admit it to anyone.

I became more and more intoxicated and eventually I reached my goal and passed out. I don't remember what time I actually knocked myself out, all I remember is hugging Amber's hoodie and praying so hard for her to come back.