Luna Clark

Chapter 17

No amount of sleep in the world could cure the tiredness I feel.

I decide to walk to school early. Alenxander left me a million texts. I go into my first class without bothering to look for him. I just want to be left alone and I definitively don't feel like explaing myself to him.

Soemtimes you feel sad without a reason. I feel empty. I walk into my first hour and start working on the assigment on the board. I hand my essay to the teacher and go back to my seat. I decide to sit behind Paola. She is a quiet girl who never talks during the whole period. Sitting here Alexander or anyone else will bother me.

The bell rings and Alexander takes his usual seat. His eyes scan the room until he finds me. He looks at me worried and I fake him a smile. I stare at the blank wall for the rest of the period. I zone out and ignore the class.

When the bell rings Alexander walks behind me and grabs my arm.

"What's wrong?" He asks worried.
"I'm fine, just a little tired" I fake a yawn.
"Where were you this morning? I was worried about you. I left you some texts and I..." I don't let him finish his speech.
"Not in the mood for questions just leave me alone!" I jerk off when he is about to kiss me.

Alexander looks at me strange. Sadness appears in the light of his hazel eyes. I can't believe I just told him that. I don't know what to say or do. Eyes are staring at us. I've created a scene in the school hallway.

"I...I'm sorry" I whisper and a tear rolls down my cheek.

Alexander doesn't let me run to the restroom when he pulls me tight into his arms. He doesn't say anything. He just holds me tight in his arms while a few tears roll down my cheeks. Alexander is just worried about me, he cares too damn much. The bell rings and neither of us move.

"Are you sure you want to go to second hour?" He asks.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. It's just that me and my mom had a fight ... about dad" I lie.

He kisses me and doesn't let me say a word.

" I will make sure that you are fine" He tells me.

"Ya'll better get to class" Ms. Pardon tells us.

"I have to go to Math." I tell him and kiss him hard.

He watches me as I enter to the classroom. Then he leaves to his class. I don't bother to speak. I zone out again. This class goes by slowly and so do the rest of them. Alexander is sitting with Jacob and Jenna at our usual spot. I take a deep breath and take a seat next to Alexander. I watch Jenna take a bite of her apple. Alexander catches me. Everyone has a plate full of food except for me.

"Do you want me to get you something?'' Alexander asks.

"Its alright I will go get it myself" I tell him and kiss him.

Jacob winks at him when he sees us kissing. They start getting loud. I can hear Jenna laughing as I'm going inside the cafeteria. I decide to go to vending machine instead. I don't feel like eating cafeteria food. I reach for a 5 dollar bill from my back pocket. I get a Nature Valley granola bar and an apple juice. The machine throws me my change and I walk out the cafeteria.

"They burgers looked nasty" I tell my friends as they give me a strange look.

I take a sip of my apple juice and zone out.

"Luna!" Jenna yells at me.

"Sorry...'' I tell her.

"So are you going to tell us how was Chicago?''

"It will blow you away.'' I tell her and take another sip.

"Hahaha I get it!'' She says after a few minutes of deep thought.

I smile.

I scroll through my phone and remain silence. Alexander pokes my stomach expecting to make me laugh but I jerk away. The bell finally rings and Jenna and Jacob go to class. I don't move and neither does Alexander. I stand up and Alexander grabs my hand and kisses me passionately. I kiss him back. His hazel eyes stare deeply into mine. I don't say anything , I close my eyes and kiss him slowly.

I walk into seventh hour. Then eight. Till the day is over. Alexander is waiting for me inside his car. I know that if I get inside that car he's taking me somewhere an he is going to force me to eat. I walk to the car and face him.

''I feel like going for a walk, I might go to the mall I don't know'' I tell him.

''Okay then we'll walk'' He says and gets out of the car.

''No its okay you don't have to come'' I say.

''Oh yes I have to'' He tells me.

''I don't want you to come.'' I tell him and look away.

''What is the matter with you! I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I promise you would not have to face them all alone!'' He says raising his voice.

''I....I just need to be alone for a while'' I tell him.

I start to walk away. Alexander is left standing next to his car, watching me walk away from him. He doesn't move, he doesn't get into his car, he just stands there watching me walk. A tear rolls down my cheek. I hurt him. I know I did. Why did I tell him that? He will be okay. I will fix things with him later and I hope he forgives me. I just need to alone for right now. I walk through the streets till I arrive to the mall.

I go inside a cafe and order a small cup of coffee. I dial Jenna's number and she answers to the first ring. I'm pretty sure she will understand me. She arrives 20 minutes later to the cafe I told her to come.

"What you need is a blunt, trust me it always helps me feel better" She says.

"I don't smoke" I tell her.

"Lets go leaves the stores empty " She grabs my arm.

I finish my coffee and we start shopping. Two hours later I find myself with a dollar bill left and my hands sore of carrying these shopping bags. Jenna helps me carry some bags and we hamsad to her car.

"How about we watch a movie now, trust me I break up with guys all the time. You will get over Alexander" She says.

"Wait what? I'm not going through a breakup. Alexander and I are fine. It was just a small argument." I tell her and laugh.

"Oops." She says and smiles.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"4: 25" She says.

"I should go home" I tell her.

"I'll drive you, get in the car"

I get inside the car and Jenna drives me back home. I thank her and head straight to my room. I haven't eaten anything solid. My stomach is growling, but I'm not hungry. I place the shopping bags in my bed and change into my sweats.

I go downstairs and start on my homework. I am hungry. I go to check the refrigerator hoping Angelina left me some dinner. I grab some chicken and put it inside the oven. I cook myself a chicken salad. There's some french bread and I grab two slices.

I'm still hungry. I scan the refrigerator one time. Then the freezer. There's a box of chocolate ice cream. I grab a spoon. Food tastes amazing. I can't think of anything else but food right now. I grab myself two more pieces of french bread with nutella. I'm not full yet. I tell myself as tears come out of my eyes.

I hurry to the guest bathroom and I vomit every single piece of food I ate today. I hit my head against the wall regretting what just happened. Regretting what I told him. Regretting what I did. Regretting my existence. I at myself in the mirror and wash my face.

I go back to the living room and finish my homework. No amount of sleep can cure the tiredness I feel. I tell myself as I fall asleep in the couch.