Obsessed with Perfection

Chapter 12

"Dani, I am no good for you"

"I know" I hugged my knees tighter, I wiped the remaining tears

"I keep hurting you, I am sorry but you just piss me off" He inhaled his blunt sitting it in the ash tray

"I know and I am sorry" I ran my fingers over my cheek feeling blood trickle down my cheek

"Come here" He patted his lap and I retreated over to him. He grabbed my arm lightly; I still flinched at his touch. I brought this upon myself. I yearned for a bad boy; I wanted the thrill in my dull life. I didn't want a good boy, I wanted a tough boy. And I received all of this when I met Aidan Miller.

"Will this ever end?" I flinched as he wiped the blood from cheek. He stared in my eyes. Nothing. He caressed my face, he leaned in and kissed me gently; I followed his movements. I ran my fingers through his hair. He leaned on his back so now I was straddling him. I pulled away lightly looking into his eyes seeing lust. Loving him is like holding the sun and hoping I don't get burnt. I am willing to get hurt just for love. I ran my fingers across his chest, he grabbed my fingers. I looked into his dark eyes, he is deviously handsome; caramel brown skin, sharp draw structure, better eyebrows than me, and gorgeous curly hair.

"Danielle, one day you won't allow me to hurt you anymore" He traced circles around my thigh. But little does he know that I am used to being hurt by him

I flashed open my eyes sitting up in my bed. I got out of bed. I ran my fingers through my hair sighing deeply. Tears threatened to spill over; I touched my face expecting to feel dried blood. The tears just poured out, I felt myself slowly breaking down. I am so stupid for loving him! He was all I had and all he did was hurt me. Was I not good enough for him; Pretty enough, skinny enough? What did I do wrong? I hate nights like these. I hate the way he is making me suffer right now! Will I ever be good enough for anybody? I walked to my body mirror examining my body. I turned sideways lifting up my shirt. "Why can't you be like Grace?" Her voice ranged through my head. I sucked in my stomach frowning. I touch my face looking at the roundness of it. I haven't really eaten this week. I don't know how to stop this! I am starting to relapse. "Can you do anything right?" "Maybe if you watched your diet, you would go en pointe!" "She makes it look effortless" "Danielle I expect more from you, this is a crappy essay" "Well Danielle you weren't giving it up, did you really expect me to wait that long!" "How did you even make it into company?" "Like he would actually date someone like you" "Danielle, I am sorry but your father isn't coming back!" I grabbed my head, my breathing increased. I felt angry at myself.

"Will I ever be good enough?" I asked myself