Danielle
Liam has not tried to make any contact with me within the past week. I honestly don't know what to do. Mom rubbed my back in small circles. I told her all about Liam, well not his past.
"Honey you can't just go to school and come back home moping around I mean you haven't been to dance class in 4 days" She exclaimed. More like I haven't been to class in 2 months. Charlie and Grace were the two students selected to go to ABT. I just stopped trying after the audition. I refuse to tell mom about it because she will be really upset. I lie and say that I am going to dance, but in reality I spend hours at the park reading or rethinking my life.
"I have too much on my plate right now, and dance is not a priority" I mutter
"Since when?" She crosses her arms
"I am focused on graduating mom okay? School is already stressful and these grades aren't going to just maintain themselves." There was a knock on the door and jet black hair came into view. Great.
"What are you doing here?" I ask slightly irritated as mom left the room.
"Your mom told me to come over and I haven't seen you in forever" Charlie sat at the edge of my bed
"What are you doing here?" I ask again
"So it's illegal for me to come and see my friend? I haven't seen you in months Dani. You stopped coming to class and you never responded to my texts."
"I've been busy" I reply
"Busy doing what Dani? Ever since that audition you have been blowing me off. Dance is your life, why are you throwing that away?" His forehead creased and I shrug
"Dance isn't my life anymore, I had to wake up and face reality Charlie." I place my phone on the nightstand.
"This is because of the audition isn't it?" He sits beside me.
"It's not just about the stupid audition Charlie. I'm not cut out for dance anymore; it's not for me. I can't live my life like that anymore." I pick at the strings on my bed.
"Live your life like what Dani?" He asks with a frown
"I can't live my life with being judged! I can't do it anymore Charlie. Ballet has ruined me; it has damaged me from the very beginning. I wanted pointe shoes and I starved myself to get to those stupid shoes. I was only 12 years old at the time and I hated my body so much. They kept telling me that my body was not fit for a ballerina, and I did everything I could do to change that. I was known for the fat black girl who couldn't watch her weight. That poor self-esteem carried its way to my every-day life. There are days where I can't even look at myself in the mirror without cringing. I pray for the day that I will finally be happy with my reflection. I did everything I could to make myself look like the rest of those girls, but I couldn't. I can never be them, god I wanted to be them but I can't. I can't take going through another audition and people telling me that I am not good enough to get into their school. I can't cope with being told that I don't have the perfect body or perfect face for them. I can't deal with being judged anymore. I can't deal with looking at pure perfection around me. Dance has damaged me so much; it has created my own hell. I feel as if I'm a waste of space, a mistake. I just want to be able to breath without my thoughts smothering me. I am sick of waiting for something else to go wrong. They say that the road to success is bumpy, but the road has swallowed me Charlie. I have lived my entire life as a failure and I don't want that anymore, so please just respect my decision." After my little speech it was evident that he didn't know what to say. I've had that bolted in my chest for so long.
"Even though you won't believe me, but you are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on, well besides pizza" He joked and I slightly smiled
"You're my friend it's your job to tell me that"
"You are insanely beautiful Dani. I am glad that you aren't doing something that makes you suffer anymore. I feel like an ass for not noticing this and the people who smile and laugh the most are the people who are broken the most." He rubs the back of his neck
"It's fine really." I shrug
"Let me take you out." He stands up
"Take me out?" I laugh
"Not on a date, I wouldn't want to be another one of Liam's victims" He laughs lightly and I tilt my head.
Perplexed I ask "Another victim?"
"It's just a joke, now let's go and get some tacos like the old days" He grabs my hand
"Uh- Okay"
"You need a shower first" He pushed me towards my bathroom. The door closes behind me and I chuckle.
YOU ARE READING
Obsessed with Perfection
Romance"If I asked you to name everything that you love, just how long will it take for you to name yourself? " His words made my knees weaken, my breathing faltered "That's the thing Liam, how can I? How can a girl who will never be good enough love her...
