Obsessed with Perfection

Chapter 48

Song: Banks; Brain

"Liam what are we going to do?" Justin's voice quivered

"I will fix this; I will make him pay okay? There is no way in hell that he is going to get away with this." I patted his shoulder. I examined his burn mark on his wrist.

"What am I paying for exactly?" Dad's voice boomed throughout the room

"You son of a bitch I will kill you!" I snarl

"Tell your brother to mind his own business, he will not interfere with any of my meetings again!" Dad semi yelled

"Touch him again and I swear I will kill you!" I scream at him. He pushed me to the wall and began choking me. I struggled to breathe.

"Liam, baby wake up it's just a dream" I shot my eyes open and quickly sat up. "Hey, hey look at me. It was just a dream." Danielle cooed

"N-no Dani it wasn't just a dream."

"What do you mean Liam?" It was evident that she was tired

"Nothing, go back to sleep" I laid back down

"You kept repeating if you touch him again I will kill you. You were choking in your sleep, Liam what is going on. What was it about? I am listening" She crawled in front of me.

"I um I haven't been completely honest with you. People are right when they say that I am no good—

"That isn't true Liam" She grabbed my hand

"Just hear me out. I am not a good person Danielle. I killed my dad because he- I killed him because he used to beat Justin. I snapped one day, he took Justin's wrist and placed it on the stovetop." I let out a sigh and looked at her. She squeezed my hand telling me to continue. "I also went through with it because he was cheating on my mother with her best friend. My mum never believed it when Justin and I told her about her friend. That just gave me another reason to kill him."

"Liam this doesn't make you a bad person, he abused your brother and-

"It doesn't make me a good person either, but I did somethings to his mistress and her family that I can't take back. I sell drugs and other illegal items, and I'm pretty sure you know that by now. Some of my father's business men are looking for me and my mum, which is the real reason why I am here. Yes I want a clean slate and that is another reason why I am here. I shouldn't even tell you this, but I am involved with a gang. Let me rearticulate that for you, I am ahead of what was my father's mob. I have killed a lot of people Dani and some of those people were innocent, so that is what makes me a bad person." She let go of my hand and my heart dropped. She looked away from me.

"Baby, say something please." I beg

"I- they, Dylan was right about you. He had a reason to act the way he did. He was really protecting me. I have been so mean towards Dylan and he was just trying to protect me."

"You never believe me when I say I am no good." I tug on my lip ring

"You killed innocent people Liam!" She exclaimed

"I know that was in my past, but you have to trust me when I say I have changed."

"Trust? How do I know that I'm not one of your next victims?"

"Don't say that to me, Danielle you know that I would never hurt you. What I did to those people was wrong, and I regret that so much. I was just an angry person looking for revenge." I noticed that she kept scooting away from me.

"I don't know that Liam. How could you kill innocent people? You had to have a reason." She finally looked up at me waiting for me to give her a valid excuse.

"I-I would never hurt you. You are the only thing that matters to me, and I don't know if I could live without you. You said that you weren't going to judge me about my past life so don't do it" I snap and grab her hand. She tries to pull away from and I don't allow it.

"L-Liam let go of me." Her voice cracks and I let out a sigh

"You wanted me to be honest with you and that's exactly what the hell  you got. Do not let me killing innocent people lead you to questioning my motive. I am a bad person like I said, but just like you said you signed up for danger when you looked at me. I am not saying this to trap you, but I am saying this so that you do not go back on your words. You will not use this to guilt trip me." I let go of her and I could feel her staring at me.

"You expect me to be okay with you killing innocent people? You really think that it doesn't scare me to be in the same room with somebody who openly admits to killing people for no reason? " Her voice raises and she gets off the bed.

"I would keep my tone down if I were you. Don't get cheeky with me Danielle. You killed your uncle, and you could have just easily told the police that he tried to rape you; but you didn't. I find that very suspicious. Those people that I killed happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They fucked with my shipments and they owed me a shit load of money. It looks to me as if we are on the same boat ." I get off of my bed and head straight to my desk. I dig in my drawer and pull out a tiny bag.

"How could you say that to me? How can you just throw that in my face? He tried raping me; I had a reason to do what I did." It was evident that she was going to cry. I did not intend to make her cry, but I wasn't going to comfort her either. I began breaking up the white powder.

"You just threw out the fact that I was a bad person and that I killed people. You just made me feel like a shitty person. Danielle, you are acting as if I don't regret waking up every morning. When I look at myself I am reminded of my father. Every time I look at myself I am reminded that I am a screw up, but hey life goes on it doesn't stop for anyone. There is no pure person in this world because life fucks us all." I sniff the powder and feel my nose burn.

"Stop doing this to yourself Liam. You can OD on this stuff."

"That's why I do it; I mean why not take matters into my own hands?"