Satiety [The Wanted Fanfic (sequel to The Thirst)]

Chapter 16: The Sad Truth

Amber's POV

After texting Kelsey I trudged into my room, feeling disgusted with myself for numerous reasons. I walked over to the edge of my bed and let my body collapse onto it, my arms spread out.

My heart felt as if it were turning and twisting into a knot, and slowly I felt myself fighting to intake oxygen. The temperature in my room dropped, so I turned onto my side and curled into a ball. I closed my eyes and took slow deep breaths, but the thoughts in my head wouldn't leave.

I've got to tell Tom, Kelsey, Siva, and Nunu about Tyler tomorrow!

What if Nunu will hate me more for being even more of a stupid whore?

What if they'll all be disgusted by me?

And, Nathan.

Poor Nathan.

I ruined him.

I've messed him up so bad that now his only salvation is whether or not Tyler's his child.

Why should I deserve to live?

I jumped a bit, startled by the sound of a couple of knocks on the outside of my bedroom door. It instantly stopped my thoughts, and I was thankful for that.

I was simply panicking. And, that is of course my forte. But, I went a little too far this time. I wouldn't want to kill myself; well not anymore, I don't. I just feel like such a failure to Tyler, my mum, Jay, Nath, and just everyone!

I heard a few more knocks. "Come in," I said groggily, still trying to breath steadily. The door creaked open, and a pair of shuffled footsteps came in my direction. The owner of these footsteps dropped their bum onto the bed, making my body flop slightly.

"He was asking for the results, wasn't he?" Jared asked with a voice deeper than the usual.

"Yeah."

"When are you going to tell him? Did you read the results?"

"Tomorrow."

"You fixed things with everyone?"

"Not yet. Tomorrow will be the day when I hopefully do."

He gave a sigh. "Which one do you love, Amber?"

"I'm not sure of what you're asking."

"Nathan or Jay?"

"Both," I answered airily.

"Which one are you in love with?"

I didn't quite know how to answer that, because I wasn't so sure of the answer.

"Is it possible for you to say you're in love with me?" he asked.

My heart froze, and a snow storm came rushing through my body. He left me with chilled lips, unable to respond to something that would tear a hole in our short lived bond forever.

"I didn't think so," he said, his voice even deeper. "I don't know why I even bothered asking. I'm a real jerk for doing that to you. I'm sorry."

I opened my mouth with the hope that I'd be able to come up with a response, but instead I gave a loud gasp and began sobbing uncontrollably. My body shook and so I held onto my body tightly as an attempt to get it to stop. Unexpectedly, I felt Jared's strong arm wrap around me, and he pulled me into his warm body.

"Who do you wish was holding you like this right now? Who would you want consoling you? Nathan or Jay?"

I shivered a bit more, but then I felt my body ease down. My muscles relaxed, and the heat generator in me started back up again. And, it was then that I knew who I wanted holding me; who I was in love with. I've fought the answer too many times that I'd become clueless as to what it was over time, but I know now.