Day 4: Who’s that guy?
Parang mas maganda pa na hindi ko nalaman na may sakit ako. Feeling ko palagi na lang akong nanghihina. Araw-araw akong nahihilo and worst nahihimatay pa. para akong kawawa na kailangan pang alalayan. Tsk. This is so not me! I hate being like this. Daig ko pa ang baby sa sobrang pag aalaga sa’kin ng mga magulang ko. I don’t like that.
“Vanessa, hindi ka ba sasama magsimba?” my mom asked.
“You already know my answer, mom.”
“Don’t be a stubborn kid anymore, Vanessa! You have to at least go to church once a week. Your dad will be glad if he’d seen you there.”
“I don’t want to, mom. Please. Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko.” And then I went inside my room.
I don’t want to talk about that thing. Why do I have to go to that place? I don’t believe on what they’re saying in there. Nagpapakatanga lang sila dun. The God they are talking about does not exist.
Dahil parang hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko ay naisipan ko munang magpahinga.
3rd Person POV:
Hindi namalayan ni Vanessa na nakatulog na siya. Sa lalim ng tulog nya ay nanaginip sya.
“Vanessa, ‘di ba gusto mo paglaki natin magpakasal tayo?” tanong ng batang lalaki sa batang si Vanessa.
Tumango naman ang batang babae bilang tugon atsaka ngumiti.
“Then, I think we should pray for that ^_^. Gusto mo sabay tayong magpray para mas effective? Sabi ni mommy, kapag marami ang nagdadasal para sa isang bagay, madali daw makuha basta naniniwala”
“Ok then ^_^” at pumikit silang dalawa saka sabay na lumuhod at nagadasal.
Nasa kwarto sila ng batang lalaki habang nagdadasal. Kung titignan sila parang nasa wastong edad na sila dahil sa mga kilos nila. Maya-maya pa ay dumilat na sila.
“I’m sure, He hears every single prayer that we say ^_^” sabi ng batang lalaki.
“Yeah, I think so ^_^”
Bata pa lamang sila ay gusto na nila ang isa’t isa. Malapit sila dahil na din sa malapit na magkaibigan ang mga magulang nila. Mag-isang anak lamang ang batang lalaki, samantalang may nakatatandang kapatid na lalaki naman ang babae.
“Leigh!, kain na daw tayo sabi ni Mom, ikaw din Luke, sa’min ka na daw kumain, pinagpaalam na kita kay tita.” Tawag ng Kuya Vincent ni Vanessa.
“Opo, Kuya, we’re coming” sigaw ni Vanessa
“Halika na ^_^” yaya nya kay Luke
“Tara ^_^” at lumabas na sila ng kwarto.
---
*knock knock*
“Ma’am kakain na po.”
Nagising ako sa katok ng kasambahay namin. Umupo muna ako at naalala ang panaginip ko.
“Why do they have to leave me? Kuya Vince promised that he’ll protect me. Luke, promised that he’ll be my guy forever. We prayed for that. And that never happened. Now, I’m very sure that He’s not listening to everyone’s prayer” at lumabas na ako ng kwarto ko para kumain.
Pagkatapos ko kumain ay pumunta ako sa park.
Ang sarap ng hangin dito. Nakikita ko din ang mga bata na masayang naglalaro. Nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kanila ang sarili ko noon. Isang batang masayahin, walang kamuwang-muwang, madaming kaibigan. Pero ngayon, ibang-iba na ‘ko. I’m tougher, yet I’m dying.
“do I always have to see you here?” tinignan ko ang nagsalita, and there I saw a familiar face.
“Zach” tanging nasabi ko.
“Finally, you already know my name. You never call butiki or kalabaw. Hahaha”
The way he laughs. I’m sure I’ve seen that already. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now but I’m sure, it’s quite uneasy.
“Hey, why are you looking at me? Don’t tell me nagugwapuhan ka sa’kin?” and I saw his teasing smile. That’s something familiar.
“A-ang kapal mo” atsaka ko iniwas ang tingin ko sa kanya.
“haha ok. Umm may I ask you a question?”
“Spill it out” I said
“Why are you always here?”
“is that important?”
“I’m just asking, and also I’m quite curious”
“Fine, It’s the only place where I can feel I am not alone, the only place the I can see the old me, the old Vanessa”
“You look like troubled. Is there something I can help to?” he asks
“I’m not troubled, I’m dying. I hate it. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I want them to be happy. I don’t want to live them, like what my brother did.”
“I see, what’s with your brother? Where did he go?”
“He’s dead”
“oh! I’m sorry, I don’t—“
“it’s okay.”
“You said you’re dying?”
“Yeah, literally. I have a cancer. And everyday it’s killing me, inside and out.”
Nakita kong natigilan sya.
“What’s the problem? You feel sorry to me?”
“No. it’s just that—I don’t know what to say. Is there nothing to do to cure you?”
“The doctor said I only have very short time to be with my family.”
Nagulat ako nang bigla nya akong niyakap. Hindi ko inaasahan ang ginawa nya kaya naitulak ko sya.
“I’m sorry” sabi nya at nakita kong malungkot ang mukha nya.
“hindi ko kailangan ng awa mo” and with that, umalis na ako sa lugar na yun.
Nung niyakap nya ‘ko, I feel something in me that’s weird. Tsk. Why am I like this? Seriously, who is that guy?
