Waves {h.s.}

seventeen - story

A/N : so jealous of that hug. ugh.

I WAS SCARED to breathe. It was hard to believe that Harry had taken my deal and I feared that one false movement, one wrong word, would make him change his mind and I couldn't risk it. This was what I wanted, what I had been working towards since Harry and I had decided to really jump into a relationship together. Finally reaching that point, felt as if I was imagining the whole thing.

Harry just kept on surprising me, showing me just how dedicated he was, how desperately he wanted us to work. For once, I wasn't the only one pushing for this relationship to work and the strength I gathered just from knowing that was greater than I expected.

So it was only fair that the moment Harry showed himself to his most vulnerable state, I gave him my undivided attention and support.

He made me wait, not to tease, not to spark my curiosity, but simply because he was drawing in the strength to share.

Carefully, I moved and molded my body against his; my legs wrapped around his legs, my arm flew across his chest and I cuddled into his side. I kept my head on his chest, just so that he wouldn't see my face. He had told me before that he was scared I would look at him differently if I knew everything. I didn't believe I ever would, but I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to look for whatever he was scared of.

This was my way to encourage him, this was my way of telling him that I loved him.

His chest expanded under me and I closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat that had increased significantly. I ran my hand across his chest as I waited for him to talk.

"I don't know where to start," he mumbled as his arms rounded me and tightened their hold.

I kissed the skin I could reach with my lips. "Whatever feels natural."

He nodded then let his head fall back. "I love you," he said and it took everything I had not to move and catch his lips with mine. "And I think I realized I had fallen in love with you after that night, under the stars. Remember that?"

This time, it was me who nodded. "I do." And I did, so vividly.

That night had been everything for me. It's what had done me in, it was the night I went back to whenever I needed a reason to hold on to Harry, the one night before everything went south.

"I was so happy after that, I remember feeling like I was floating, like nothing could get me," he let out a breathless laugh, realizing the irony behind his words. "When you think about it, it was only a day. One day where everything just happened at once."

I held him a little tighter. I could only imagine everything he had gone through, and it was already unbearable.

"I got home, thinking that I was just going to head straight to my bed, but then as I went for the stairs, I say my- I saw everyone sitting in the living room. It was barely five in the morning. Obviously, I got curious as to why everyone was there, so I went into the living room.

"Quite frankly, I don't remember much of how it all happened, it's all a blur, mostly because I shut it out and I don't want to go back there, ever, but you want to know and here's what I'm ready to give you: I remember the tears on Gemma's cheeks, I remember the pain in all of their eyes and I remember barely being able to breathe.

"It got overwhelming, fast. They were talking and walking around it until they just ran out of ways to avoid the subject and they told me. They told me that I was adopted and all I could hear was that I never belonged, that the person that put me on this earth didn't think I was worth keeping and I-"