Waves {h.s.}

eighteen - breathing *

WANDERING HANDS ACROSS my body and soft lips against my neck are what woke me up after what felt like only an hour since I had fallen asleep. I groaned and squinted my eyes as I unhurriedly tried to open my eyes and understand what was happening. My skin was hot and I could barely move, but as my eyes went into focus and my mind cleared, I realized that this was because Harry was on top of me, his face hidden in my neck as he kissed it.

Gently, his hands caressed my skin and I stirred, taking in a deep breath to wake me up. Harry's movement slowed as he moved above me, aligning his head with mine. He watched me as sleep gradually left my body and I reached for his face, caressing his cheek with the back of my hand.

"Is everything ok?" I asked, my voice raspy.

He let out a small breath and leaned in to kiss one of my cheeks. "I... baby I need you," he whispered before kissing the other cheek. As he moved I felt the bulge between his legs rubbing against my thighs, just inches away from the place I wanted him to touch me.

Since we had made our relationship official, every time that we touched had felt different. This time, I could feel the need and the urgency behind every caress and every grip, but at the same time, I knew that Harry was holding back so that he wouldn't rush me. He tried, every time, to let me know that no matter how rough and no matter how fast we were going, we were always making love. And I appreciated that, so much so that it almost brought tears to my eyes just to think about it.

The tears were even harder to control, since I had an idea of why Harry was being so troubled; he suddenly needed me so much that it couldn't wait until morning. So I put both of my hands around his face and forced him to look at me.

"I'm right here, Harry," I whispered before pressing a sweet kiss on his lips.

He closed his eyes then leaned in slowly before letting the tip of his nose run along my skin.

"I need you so much," he mumbled. "All the damn time."

He sounded so hurt when he said those words, but I knew that his words weren't meant to hurt me, he was just expressing himself. The pain in his voice was only there because he hated relying on people, and now that I knew everything, it made sense, I understood.

"It's okay," I tried to reassure him. "I need you just as much."

"You do?" He asked, lifting his head and looking at me with curious eyes, as if he had a hard time believing it.

I nodded and caressed his face again. "I do."

He sighed then laid his head between my breasts. "You don't seem like you need me as much. You seem strong and independent while I look weak and dependent."

I frowned. "You look anything but weak and dependent. Showing that you're hurt or that you're sad isn't a sign of weakness. Owning up to these feelings and talking about them makes you strong."

"You make me strong," he whispered before tightening his hold on me. "I'm sorry I said otherwise earlier. You're my weakness but you make me strong."

I smiled and ran my hand through his hair. I liked hearing him say things like that, I could never get enough of it. Although it had become more frequent, it was so rare for him to say things like that to me.

After a few minutes of simply holding me and trying to compose himself, Harry turned his head and nuzzled the space between my breasts.

I let him do whatever he wanted to do, let him have me in the way that he needed. My eyes were closed and I concentrated on the heat he radiated, the pressure of his hands on my hips, the soft blow of air as he breathed me in and hummed in satisfaction.