work experience ~ s.w

thirteen

I pace around the waiting room for about half an hour before the old lady in the corner yells at me for distracting her from her crossword puzzle. I say my apologies before slumping into the hard, uncomfortable seat just as the doors swing open once again. Sam stands in front of me, tears seeming to brim his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I say standing quickly.

"I'm not a match. I'm an O too." He sighs, looking at the floor. "I let you down. I'm sorry." I quickly grab his face in my hands and tilt his head to look at me.

"You didn't let me down. You did all you could and for that I will be eternally grateful. Thank you Sam." I smile, kissing his softly before looking over his shoulder at the doctor who stands behind us. "Can you search your database for someone else?"

"Who do you have in mind?" He asks.

"My father."

***

"For once in your life, do something that matters." I yell at the slurring, still drunk oath before me. "You're Zach's only hope and I swear to God if you don't get your sorry excuse for a father ass down to that hospital I will cut you open and remove your kidneys myself."

"What's going on?" My father slurs, swaying from side to side. I actually prefer him when he's like this- too dazed to lash out. Before I can stop myself my hand connects with his face, slapping him back to reality.

"Come on dad. All his life you've pushed him around. Made him feel like you don't care. Made him feel like some sorry mistake. I know you loved mom and I know you love Zach. Somewhere deep down inside of you there is a loving, nurturing, kind father. I beg you dad, find that man and bring him to the surface. Bring him to Zach. Show him you care and show him that you're not the deadbeat dad he thinks you are."

"Viola-"

"No dad. I won't take no for an answer. I won't let you push me around any longer. I don't care what you've done to me in the past. You can make up for all that if you just do this for Zach. Please dad."

"I'll do it." He says loudly. He sways to the left as I grab his arm to keep him upright. "But you'll have to get me there."

***

I sit across from my father as the drip hanging above him filters antitoxins into his system. He has to completely sober up before he can go through with the surgery. He's already had the tests to confirm what the files say. As if my father will be the one to save Zach.

"I've never felt more alive Vi" He smiles across at me. Wait, did my father just smile at me? I smile uneasily back at him as Sam grips my shoulder. This is so embarrassing. I didn't want Sam to ever have to meet my Dad, I didn't intend to ever see him again. I had to put aside my hatred and anger for Zach's sake. I couldn't just sit back and watch my only relative die. We don't tend to class dad as related to us as seeing as both our parents are only children and our grandparents died before we were born, we only have each other.

"It's nice to finally meet you Mr Harper." The doctor says, having now cleaned up and removed the blood stained clothes that will taunt me for the rest of my life. "You're pretty far behind on some of your yearly check ups."

"I found myself in a bad way" My father sighs looking at the ground. The doctor takes his blood pressure and runs the test for alcohol in his blood. The results are positively sober in a matter of seconds.

"I think we're ready for you now Mr Harper." The doctor who's name I haven't bothered to learn says.

"Can I have a few minutes with my daughter?" He asks softly. I've never heard that tone of voice come from my father before. The doctor nods and quickly exits the room. He looks to Sam. "Alone?" Sam opens his mouth but closes it quickly. I give him a nod to say it's okay before he kisses the top of my head.

"I'll be right outside" He says quietly before leaving the room.

I sit in my chair staring at my father. The man who's made my life hell. The man who made my mom's life so completely unbearable.

"He's nice" He starts staring out of the door. "Sam I mean, I'm glad you've found happiness."

"Thanks" I say awkwardly. I didn't expect an encounter like this with my father. Ever.

"I wanted to talk to you before I go in for the chop" He says, phrasing it in the only way he knows how. Badly. "This is the first time I've been sober in the last 18 years, even before that. I have to make it count." I take a deep breath and sit forward in my seat, my elbows resting on my knees as I wait for what my father has to say. "I'm so sorry Viola. I've been the worst possible father on the face of the planet. I've ruined your life and I ruined Zach's and I ruined your mother's."

"Why are you telling me this? I already know all of it."

"I need you to know that I know; I know I was a lousy father but by doing this for Zach I hope I can make it up to you. I know I've hurt you in so many ways, just like I hurt your mom but I'm changing. I'm going to change. I'm going to be the daddy you always called for when you were little- before you developed any sense. I want you to know that I'm proud of you Viola. I'm proud of the strong, loving, nurturing, independent young women that you've become. I know I've done bad things but you haven't let them hurt you, you haven't let them stop you, you haven't let them get in the way of achieving your dreams. I honestly don't know what I can say to make up for all the horrible things I've done. I've put you guys into poverty just to find my drinking problem. I've taken your hard earned money to fund my drinking problem. I wish you'd had a better life Vi, I wish I could have given you one." He looks out the window where the doctor is staring, waiting. "I have to go now Viola. Tell Zach that I love him and I hope he has the best life that I know you'll give him. I love you Viola. I hope you find true happiness." He finishes before standing up. I can't help but embrace him in a hug.

"Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?" I mumble into his beer belly.

"Because it might just be"