Ellie's Heartbreak

Chapter 7

Once again I was hunched over my newest best friend, the toilet bowl, my little stowaway once again making itself known. As if I could ever forget. Funnily enough I had gotten used to my place by the toilet bowl, whoever called it morning sickness was an idiot, mine was morning, lunch middle of the day and night sickness.

I felt like a slut, once more I found myself having sex with my husband, after what he did you'd think I would stay away. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I stay away? For the past few years all he's done is disrespect me and now I find myself doing the same thing, disrespecting myself.

I'd never felt an overwhelming desire to have sex with my husband during our marriage, I was always to shy. Look at me now three month pregnant, separated from my cheating scumbag husband and I can't get enough of him. I was so confused I wanted him but I also wished I could just cut ties with him, it would make keeping this pregnancy secret so much easier. I wouldn't feel as guilty if he was being a shit like normal, instead he's taking the time to prove he's changing.

Will he go back to his cheating ways after I give in, is this a ploy just to keep me here, a sense of duty, normality perhaps?

I had no clue to any of these questions all I knew was the bathroom had gotten cold and I was shivering in Luke's t-shirt. The shirt I always wore to bed and there he was watching me from the doorway.

Wait! What?

'Ellie are you ok?' Luke was dressed in simple jeans and a tight clack t-shirt. He looked like a normal 24 year old instead of a businessman. He had a frown on his gorgeous face. I could see why women wanted him, he was nothing short of stunning. It was me that was the problem, I was painfully shy, always had been, I was nervous and scared of showing my husband my body, I was bullied mercilessly in school, for being so thin, naturally my bust was large, impressive even. I looked fake, unnatural. Now I'm healthy, still short but I'd like to think I look ok, better than I did, somehow I'd never managed to gain self-confidence. I hated looking at my body and I hated showing it to my husband.

He used to get so frustrated when I asked him to turn out the light when being intimate. Why is everything changing now? I had absolutely no qualms whatsoever of showing Luke my body these past few days.

'Ellie, are you ok? You keep spacing out.' Luke asked worried, he had crouched down, his face now inches from mine.

'What, I'm sorry. I'm ok, I think it was just something I ate.' I stood, once again aware o my state of undress. 'How did you know I was here, I thought I was meeting you at the apartment?'

'Ellie, you're staying in one of our hotels. As soon as you checked in I got a call.' Luke grinned. Idiot, of course, you checked into an Anderson hotel.

'Erm, ok. I'm just going to shower and get dressed, I'll be out in a minute.' My brain had turned to mush. I showered quickly and walked into the bedroom in a towel. Now to decide what to wear. I dropped the towel and tried to find something that would fit over my ever increasing tummy. I decided on a flowing floral dress, 1940's inspired. One thing I loved most about myself was the way I dressed. I loved the 30's, 40's and 50's styles. I loved vintage and I loved vintage stores. I left my hair to curl naturally down my back.

I turned around to grab my bag only and set out to find Luke, waiting like a good boy. I had no idea how this weekend was going to go. I had to try and keep some kind of distance between us, but it was increasingly hard when he looked like a wounded puppy on it's best behaviour.

He was making it very hard to stay mad at him when he was trying so hard. He'd sent me flowers everyday for the past week, my favourites, a different kind everyday. My office looked like a florists.