How to Love Again

Chapter Seven: Another Goodbye

For rest of the night, Michele couldn’t stop replaying the conversation that she and Nanny had shared. What she couldn’t figure out was what Nanny was trying to say to her without actually telling her. That, on top of the kiss now complicated Michele’s very existence and now her life was thrown into a tailspin and didn’t know which end was up.

            Do I really love Logan in that kind of romantic way? How can I be sure? I know for certain that I have never felt this way before about anyone. How could Logan and Nanny think that and not me? Am I fighting this feeling or is Logan just a friend? If I was in love with him, why would I be fighting the feeling so much? Why couldn’t the idea of falling in love and sustaining that feeling be easy? It shouldn’t be complicated. If I loved him, I would be able to know it, right?

            Throughout the morning as she got dressed, ate breakfast and drove to school, Michele knew that she was missing the bigger picture of this situation, but what was it? Even after seeing Logan in class didn’t make it any clearer and it didn’t help when he saw her walking through the doorway his whole face lit up like a Christmas tree.

            “Good morning,” he said as he ran his hand down the length of her hair hoping for some sort of answer to his omission to Nanny yesterday. “I was thinking tonight if you wanted to come over for dinner and finish up this week’s assignment.”

            “Actually, I am going to see Nanny after practice tonight,” she said with a worried expression. “I just can’t stop thinking that something is going to happen and I want to see her as soon as I can, I would go at lunch but I’ve got a meeting with the principal to talk about Homecoming festivities.”

            “Tomorrow night then.”

            Half-way through class and through Mrs. Alexander’s lecture on preparing a monthly household budget, there was a sudden knock on the door.

            It was Ms. Hatton, the school guidance counselor. At the very sight of her, Michele’s heart skipped a beat and she immediately looked at Logan with a very pained expression.

            “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to see Michele if you don’t mind,” she said trying to avoid any emotion in front of the class.

            As Michele stood up, Logan grabbed Michele’s hand and whispered into her ear.

            “Do you want me to come with you?”          

            “I bet it’s nothing, don’t worry.”

            As Michele met with Ms. Hatton she ushered her out the door and put her arm around her waist.

            Logan knew instantly something had happened to Nanny. He fought the urge to go outside to be with Michele, if she wanted him there she would come back for him or send Mrs. Anthony back in. He craned his neck to look through the little window in the door but could only see the back of Michele’s head.

            Then he heard the sound he was dreading, but knew it was coming. The sound of Michele breaking, falling apart and then to hear that cry. Logan jumped out of his seat ignoring Mrs. Alexander’s order to sit down as he pushed open the door to find Ms. Hatton cradling Michele in her arms.

            He knew there was nothing he could say to comfort her and he acted on his first instinct and that was just to hold her, hold her as long as she wanted. He nodded to Ms. Hatton and she let go and Logan wrapped his arms around her until he felt her body just give up and go limp. Her cries now were deafened as she buried her face into Logan’s chest; her body shook which took the place for the sobbing. There were no tears left.