How to Love Again

Chapter One: A Fresh Start

Driving was a good escape for Michele these days. With school starting, it gave her time to think about things, to put her life into order and she was hopeful to start a new chapter in her life, one that didn’t involve tragedy and heartbreak.

            Now, as a senior, there were several rites of passage that Michele wanted to experience.

            Serving as captain of the cheerleading team, Michele had that to keep her mind off of the sadness she was feeling.

            Having both good and bad days, lately more were good, which was a nice change of pace for Michele. Since the accident, she had sunk into a deep depression but was slowly brought out of it through the love and support of her friends and her grandmother, Nanny. However, it was thanks to her therapist who she met with once a week that was the one who really helped her move beyond the grief and understand that life does go one.   

            The newest twist in her life was that her grandmother and guardian, was now in the hospital. Nanny’s doctors were telling Michele that with her age and all of her health problems that she should start to prepare herself. They were only giving her weeks to live.

            This time around, Michele was ready; she could sense that Nanny knew it too. That day was still fresh in Michele’s mind; she had just come back from cheer camp to find Nanny in bed not knowing where or who she was.

            Since that day back in early July, Michele had scheduled every minute of her life around only three things, visiting her grandmother, working at the local health club, dance and cheerleading.

            Life wasn’t so depressing when you fill you day up, Michele thought.  It doesn’t give you time to think about what is really hurting you the most and missing your loved ones. That was the easy part of living now.

            The façade that she put on for her friends made it easy to go about her day without answering the question of “How are you doing?” she got every few hours. She gave the same answer; “I’m fine, really,” to everyone except one person who knew her better than anyone and that was her best friend Nicole.

            Nicole knew better than to ask. She could read Michele so well and took her cues from there. She found that it was easier to wait it out and only talk about it if Michele brought it up, which was rare.

            Now, living alone in the only place she ever called home, it was the only place that feared. Michele, she knew that at the end of everyday she would be walking into that empty house alone. She knew that when she walked into that door every night there would be no one to greet her or to ask how her day was or have dinner waiting for her.

            But today was a new day and Michele could feel it in every part of her 5’3 frame. From the moment she woke up she knew that this day would bring some kind of change in her life.

            Almost giddy about the possible change, a new outlook on life, Michele began her morning as she had for the last two months by going to the hospital right when visiting hours started to have breakfast with Nanny.

            The past week had been a difficult one for Nanny. She was going in and out of consciousness more and more frequently now, and it was only a matter of time until her memory of Michele would begin to fade away permanently. Michele was hoping for a good day, one that Nanny would remember her and be in good spirits.

            “Hey, Sandy,” Michele said eagerly passing the nurses’ station. This was her daily check-in. All of the nurses and doctors on her grandmother’s floor had taken Michele under their wing and couldn’t believe what strength this young girl had for all that she has lived through in her very short life.