The 5 And Only

Chapter 15

I was laying in my bed just staring at the ceiling. I probably should've just stayed with Harry there are too many suicidal thoughts racing through my mind. I would be better off dead. I shifted on my bed so I was on my stomach halfway hanging off of it. I slid out a shoe box from underneath my bed and picked it up. I set it on my lap and sat upright on my bed. Slowly I opened it revealing an old rope, a collection of sleeping pills, my dad's gun, and 10 blades. I didn't think Harry would come check on me so I grabbed on of the blades then closed the box and put it off to the side. I slid down my blanket and clothing that was covering my hip. I quickly began to slice my skin making x's and diagonal, horizontal, vertical, overlapping lines. The burning sensation felt really good. When I was pleased I put the blade back in the box after I contemplated on O.D.ing. It would be perfect. I had more than enough sleeping pills to overdose plus there would be no mess. I tried to shove the thought out of my head, but who was I kidding. It would never go away. 

I quickly grabbed a handful of tissues to stop the blood from staining my clothes. Suicide sounds nice...all my problems will go away...I can't stop trying to be someone I'm not...no one will miss me...I'm just worthless...useless...stupid...fat...disgusting...no one likes me...loser...loner...someone who should've never been born. I finally gutted up and grabbed the box from under my bed. I was going to do it. I've never felt more alone in my life. At that point I was balling. My hands were shaking really really badly. It was hard to get the bag open at first with the trembling but I finally got it open. I had a handful of pills completely ready.

Then my door opened and through my blurry vision I saw a tall curly-hair guy stand at my doorway motionless. This is NOT how I wanted Harry to find out I'm a screw up. I just sat there balling not even caring Harry was there and I still tried to swallow the handful. That's when Harry ran over to me and stopped my hand from allowing the pills into my mouth. He brang my hand down and emptied the pills into his hands then threw them of to the side. He just held me really close in his arms. My hand was fisting his shirt while I cried into his chest. The top of my head was nuzzled into his neck and he rocked me back and forth slowly.

I just couldn't stop balling. After about 5 minutes like that Harry picked me up bridal-style and carried me to the other side of the bed then layed me down. He threw my box and the pills on the floor in despise but didn't keep his eyes off me. At that moment Harry's eyes even swelled with tears as he pulled back the blanket and got into the bed with me both of us underneath the blanket. I was back to fisting his shirt and balling "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." I repeated over and over. "Shhhhh don't say that. Don't be sorry." Harry choked as he spoke now crying with me. He wasn't fully crying though just a couple of shedded tears. Then he kissed the top of my head and I was soon shut up falling into a deep sleep.

Harry's POV

I. Just. Walked. In. On. My. Best. Friend. Trying. To. Commit....Suicide. Those words stung like an open wound under steaming hot water. I just walked in on my best friend trying to commit suicide. Morgan was trying to commit suicide while I was watching T.V. downstairs. If I didn't go check on her the next time I would've she would've been dead. Words kept playing in my mind. I can't believe that just happened.

 Morgan finally fell asleep, but I didn't know if she had swallowed any pills so I checked to make sure she was still breathing every like 10 seconds. I finally drifted into sleep not meaning to.

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So yea that's chapter 15 shorter than I wanted it to be but yea.. hope you guys like it xxx