Cause of Death {{PETERICK}}

//chapter four//

There was no 'them', though.

There was a Patrick Stump, and a Pete Wentz, not a Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz. Still, the hug lasted forever, or at least felt like it did. When Pete finally let go, he shook his head rapidly and mumbled about ten different apologies as quickly as he could. Patrick didn't mind what he'd said before anymore, though, the warmness of that one long hug, and the sadness in Pete's voice as he apologised was enough.

Patrick needed to say something, something along the lines of 'no homo', but he couldn't. That hug should have been between Pete and Patrick, the two good friends, but it wasn't. It was between Pete and Patrick, who were both gay and single. It was kind of wrong, actually, that Patrick wanted to say 'no homo', especially knowing how much that had hurt him in the past. It was even worse that Patrick wanted to remind Pete that they were 'just friends', because they couldn't be. They couldn't stay 'friends' forever, especially when all they had was each other.

When Patrick noticed Pete's face, he knew they both felt the same way. It wasn't a thing, but there was definitely a thing. He looked like he was begging him not to say 'no homo', like that had hurt him before. Patrick understood, though, no one wanted to hear that from anyone. It was probably even more awkward between the two of them now, and it hadn't exactly been sunshine and rainbows beforehand. They needed to get over it, though, because they needed to be friends, and they couldn't be friends with all that sexual tension between them.

Patrick picked up the pizza, which had, very luckily, landed face up. He then went back through into the living room, with Pete quietly following behind him. It was just as awkward as Patrick had expected it to be, but he hadn't realised quite how bad that would make their evening. Silly him, thinking they'd be able to get through it, of course they couldn't. They were both just as awkward as each other, and neither of them were too far away from actually dropping dead.

When Pete and Patrick were both sitting down next to each other on the couch again, they started trying to explain themselves. It was impossible to properly hear what either of them were saying, since they were saying completely different things, at the exact same time.

Patrick tried to play it cool and went with, "I'm sorry, that was just a little bit too sudden."
Whereas Pete, who obviously wasn't hiding anything anymore, went with, "I hugged anyone since I hugged Mikey's corpse. I'm sorry I needed it, and you looked like you did, too."

Neither of them knew what the other had said, but maybe that was for the best. Patrick repeated himself first, and this time only said, "Sorry, you surprised me a little bit."
Pete didn't want to hide anything, but Patrick didn't sound like he needed to hear the whole truth, so he just said, "I needed a hug, and you kind of looked like you needed one, too."

Patrick nodded, Pete was right. He really did need a hug, but whether the hug he needed was supposed to be from Pete or not was debatable. He was the only person in his life right now, though, so he supposed he would have had to do, no matter what. He felt like he was lying, though, when he said he was only being awkward because he'd been surprised. Patrick was slightly worried that he might have a crush on Pete, which was the opposite of what he wanted. Pete was a great guy, but Patrick didn't see him ever liking him back. He seemed to be too attached to whoever this dead person was to ever love someone else.

Patrick didn't throw the term 'dying inside' around lightly, but he would definitely use it to describe how he felt right now. He was sitting right next to Pete, someone he found very attractive, but also the person who had ambushed him with a non-platonic feeling hug. It was just a shame that Pete didn't like Patrick, he didn't have to ask him to find that out, he could already tell. Pete was completely out of his league, and, if Patrick was being honest, probably everyone else's too.

Pete was just sitting. He wasn't thinking about Patrick at all, especially not in the same way Patrick was thinking about him. Not that he knew how Patrick was thinking about him, though, he couldn't read minds. Pete was just sitting there, hoping that Patrick would think of something, anything to say to him, to let him know they were fine. He needed them to be fine, so he could get over Mikey, and so he had a shot at getting a second date. This wasn't an average date, but it still was one, at least in Pete's mind. He hoped Patrick felt he same way.

Patrick did feel the same way. He didn't know that, though. He didn't have any idea what Pete was thinking. He was the last person to speak, and Patrick desperately wanted to start up another conversation. He had to. This was unbearably awkward, to a point where Patrick was uncomfortable in his own home, and was worried Pete might be even more uncomfortable, since this wasn't even his house, he'd never actually been here before. Patrick was struggling to remind himself that he'd only just met Pete, he felt like he'd known him for a while. It was amazing what one hug could do.

"I can't believe this was supposed to be a date," Patrick said, laughing weakly, "this would be up there on my list of worst ever dates, if it was a date I mean, and if I'd been on enough dates to have a list."
"Do you think that?" Pete asked, speaking quietly to mask the disappointment in his voice, "This isn't a date? This is a bad date?"

Patrick was suddenly terrified of what he'd said. Pete thought it was a date, and he thought it was going well. That was exactly what Patrick wanted, and now he'd gone and thrown it away.

"We can call it a date if you'd like," he said, trying to backtrack without Pete noticing, "but I still don't think it's a good date, if it is one."
"Oh," Pete sighed, "that's a shame, this was a pretty good date in my opinion. I guess, it wasn't really supposed to be a date, though."

Patrick had ruined everything for himself, and, once again, made himself  perfectly aware of how much of an idiot he was. He made stupid mistakes with words and feelings, and ended up in stupid situations like this one.

"Pete, I, uh," Patrick stuttered, "I really want this to be a good date. We should probably eat this pizza, before it gets cold."
Pete smiled, "Then it is a good date, Patrick, this can be the best date if you want it to be. Seriously, though, start eating the pizza before it gets cold and gross."