Cause of Death {{PETERICK}}

//chapter eight//

"W-what?" Patrick stuttered, "Frank?! He killed someone?"

Pete could do nothing but nod sadly, and watch as Patrick's perception of someone he used to consider his friend changed completely. Pete felt bad for telling Patrick something like that so suddenly, but he didn't know how else, or when else, to tell him. He could tell that Patrick was upset to find out about Frank, but he still thought that he would want to hear the rest of his story about Mikey. He carried on explaining himself, despite knowing it probably wasn't the right time.

"So, uh, Gerard was a shitty brother," Pete said, "he didn't care that Mikey was dead at all. In fact, he went to prison instead of Frank. He told him to start a new life, or something. He didn't fucking deserve another chance, Patrick, it shouldn't have even been considered. It was, though, and Frank got another chance at life."

Patrick nodded, he was intently listening to Pete's story, even if he was still in shock. He couldn't believe Frank had killed someone, but he didn't want to go against Pete. He shouldn't have trusted him as much as he did, not yet, at least, but Patrick was more than ready to take every word Pete said as gospel, but he really didn't know why.

"Oh, I should also mention that Mikey was straight," Pete said, still talking about the same thing, "and that was painful as fuck. Actually, uh... I have to thank Frank and Gerard for stopping me from trying to fuck Mikey's corpse. It's bad, I know, but I went pretty far with it. It was kind of nice of them both to let me hold him--"

Pete cut himself off, he saw the horrified look on Patrick's face and tried to backtrack. It wasn't worth it, though, he'd already said everything.

"That's--" Patrick gasped, "That's really fucked up, Pete! That's like rape, and-- He was dead, Pete!? Didn't that mean anything to you?!"
Pete shook his head, "Not at the time, I loved him so much... It didn't matter, I just wanted him back, you know?"

Patrick wished he could just nod and accept it. He couldn't, though, he couldn't. He wanted to give Pete another hug, and not let go until everything was okay, but he couldn't. Pete wasn't just upset that Mikey was dead, he was broken. Patrick didn't want to say it, but Pete really was broken. He wanted to fix him, he had to fix him, but that wouldn't be easy.

Patrick hadn't expected Pete to suddenly come out as some kind of necrophiliac. Admittedly, he knew Pete wasn't an average guy, but that was a step above what he could have ever expected from him. Patrick tried to focus on something else, and take his mind off of Pete's disturbing fetishes. His mind somehow wandered to the use of past tense, he didn't know if Pete was speaking like that because this happened a while ago, or if he just didn't feel that way anymore.

'Loved' was what stuck out the most to Patrick. Pete sounded like he was still completely in love with Mikey, but apparently that wasn't the case. Patrick didn't want to be happy with that, that was an awful thing to be happy about, but he was. Mikey wasn't a threat to his attempt at getting Pete, not that he really was to begin with. However, something about Pete really did make Patrick think otherwise, and he didn't want to feel threatened by someone who was dead, especially not in this way.

Patrick decided to test the waters, by asking Pete more about his use of past tense. He needed to know if it was a mistake, or if it had meant what Patrick had thought, and hoped, it did. He was being a terrible friend, but he couldn't help it, he desperately had to know.

"Are you over him, Pete?" Patrick asked, leaning over slightly and placing his hand on top of Pete's, "Do you still love him?"
Pete was silent, at first anyway, then he held Patrick's hand tightly as he began to speak, "I don't know. I loved him so much, but he didn't love me back, Patrick, he was straight. I didn't think I was ever going to be over him... but maybe I am...?"
"It's not a decision, it's just a feeling. Don't rush yourself into anything. It won't help."

Patrick was making his chances with Pete even slimmer, but he felt like it was the right thing to say. He didn't think Pete was completely oblivious to the fact that he was trying to make their interactions more than platonic, but he didn't think he was making it too obvious, either. In Patrick's mind, he had the perfect blend of friendliness and supportiveness to get Pete to go on a date with him seriously. Patrick knew that wouldn't really be the case, nothing he did ever went to plan.

"Thank you," Pete said, almost on the verge of tears, "for everything you've said. You're a good cookie, Patrick, how come you didn't have anyone else? I'd probably date you in a second if... Well, if you wanted to, I guess... and if I was over Mikey. I'm not yet, I just worked that out."

Patrick knew that was supposed to be nice. Patrick knew Pete didn't mean to absolutely destroy him like that. It was only then that Patrick realised he really had to tell Pete how he felt. He didn't think it would get him anywhere, but now he had a lot more hope about it. Seeing as Pete had already kind of said no, it made no sense, but Patrick didn't care for sense at that moment in time. He just cared for Pete, as cheesy and dumb as it was. He wasn't that type of guy, not normally anyway, but, once again, Pete was proving to be an exception to all the things Patrick thought he knew about himself.

"I want to date you seriously, Pete," Patrick said, his voice shaking with nerves, "almost desperately, in fact, despite how bad that sounds. I know it's stupid, but you're broken,  and I know you know that, too. I want to help you get through that."

'Just friends don't start dating after their first date. Just friends don't have first dates. Just friends don't find themselves falling in love so quickly.'

Patrick hated that his mind went in that direction. It was stupid, they weren't just friends, and he knew that. That had only been their plan originally because Patrick didn't think Pete needed to be in a relationship. He now knew he was wrong, but only partly. It wasn't Pete who really needed their relationship, it was him.

"I don't..." Pete said, his eyes darting around the room, "know what I'm supposed to say, Patrick..."
"Then don't say anything," Patrick said, a slight sad smile on his face, "I can wait for an answer. I need you to promise me that I'll get one soon, though, Pete."

Pete nodded, and the two 'more than friends' wrapped their pinky fingers together, to seal their promise.