Just Go With It.

sixteen

We all went out for a meal after telling Skye- it was a huge group of us, so we were recognised by fans and paparazzi. The group for the night consisted of; Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum along with me and Skye. Lou and Lux who had Harry and Niall- which was perfectly fine and were great company. We got noticed by fans, but because Niall and Harry were there, people were distracted from Skye calling out for her 'daddy' which I tried to mininize her from doing.

Harry and Niall caught on to what we were saying when I was explaining to Lou how things went with Skye. They were really nice about it. Harry told us that he respected Luke for accepting her as his own and he respected me for taking the role of a mother so well.

Niall was similar. He congrarulated us, and offered us help for when we needed it. In the end, it was me, Harry, Lou and Luke just talking about anything, while Niall and Ashton were messing around with Lux and Skye and Michael and Calum were showing each other things on their phones.

"So, you went on tour for how many years?" I asked Harry.

"I think it was like 5 years, which I really enjoyed, but we all had to take a break before it got too much." he said.

"Yeah, you could tell that they were getting a bit tired from it all when you were backstage, but from watching them perform they were always lively, happy, childish idiots. I think everyone was missing home a lot too. Like, Harry missed Gemma and his mum, while you had Liam and Louis not being able to watch their sisters grow into young women, same with Niall and Theo. But they always managed to make it through, didn't you H?"

"Yeah, I guess we did. I mean, we all had our bad days. I remember once it was like fifteen minutes before our show, and Lou was messing around with my hair, just like my mum used to when I was at home with her, and it just really hit hard how much I missed her and being at home. Lou just ended up hugging me for the fifteen minutes before going on. She was like one person mixed into one. She was our sister when we wanted to do something ridiculous, but she was our mum to gives us a clip round the ear when we were being twats, as well as being that dad who gave us wise words before a show."

"That is actually really sweet. It must've been really hard for everyone I'm guessing." Luke said.

"It really hit everyone hard, it's not easy one bit. Sometimes you just want to say 'I'm done with this. I've had my fun and now it's time I came back to reality, knowing this won't last forever' and no matter how many times I wold say that to one of the boys, or even my mum when I was able to see her, I'd still get up on that stage, peform like there was no tomorrow, and have remind myself that the fans are the ones who got us where we are and how much I love my job."

"See that's what scares me most about going on tour. Like, obviously I'm going to miss Skye and Mimi, but for me and mum it's like, normal.  I don't see her now but we call like everyday, and if she needs me, I can just get on a plane and go back home, but while we're on tour it's not as easy. Then if something does happen, what if I want to just give up? Like you said, I've said to Ashton so many times that I don't want to do it and I just wanted to go home, but he like slapped me into it.  It could go completely wrong, but I don't know man, it all scares me." Harry agreed with what Luke was saying, and I sort of understood, but not really.

Luke going on tour really scared me at the time. It could've turned our relationship into a whirlwind of disaster and I would have had no idea how to handle it. I hated the fact that when the boys left for tour, I was left alone. I hadn't gotten out much as we decided to start Skye with home schooling seeing as paps followed your every move, and sometimes, it could all get too much for her.

"Listen, Luke, you just gotta remember what's on the other side of tour. You leave that job, what are you going to do? Because you can never go back to having a life that's not shared all over the internet. You've gotta remember the stuff you're coming home to- like your girlfriend, your little girl, your home. A place full of love and memories. No matter what happens, you've got to remember that.

As Harry finished giving advice to Luke, our food had arrived and it tasted incredible, bonus the fact everyone enjoyed it.

It wasn't long before Luke and I were snuggled in bed, with Skye in her room, and the boys in theirs.

That night I slept like a baby, not having anything on my mind.