"interesting fact of the day," luke puts on his "intellectual" face, a pair of fake black square glasses slipping down his nose. "you're a hoe."
calum rolls his eyes and takes a sip from his coffee, before placing the cup back on the bedside table. "where'd you get those? they're cool."
"i bought them on walmart for only two dollars." luke wiggles his eyebrows and pushes his glasses back with his index finger. "is there a walmart over there?"
"nah," calum shakes his head and grabs his iphone from the bedside table. he unlocks it and opens up the camera. "there's ASDA, though. it's kind of like a walmart. smile!"
calum lifts his phone up and takes a picture of luke with the glasses through his laptop.
"how do i look?" luke asks. "do i look hot?"
"you look," calum hums and looks down at the picture, before looking back up at luke. "okay."
luke raises an eyebrow. "just okay?"
calum locks his phone and tosses it to the side. "just okay." and very cute. and kind of hot.
"thanks, i guess," luke shrugs. "how's your roommate haunting been going?"
"oh, great, actually. i found someone. his name is michael."
calum met michael at work last week when calum accidentally got his order wrong. he is a cool guy with extravagant blue hair and bright green eyes. he is also from australia, but he has been living in london for three years now. he likes blink-182 and enjoys taking buzzfeed quizzes just like calum does (bonus points for that). and he wasn't a pedo.
"oo sounds nice," luke rubs his hands together excitingly.
"yeah, he is." calum smiles. "we're actually going to grab lunch on friday."
"send selfies!" luke squeals. "i'm so excited, i need go calm down. fuck, ok. luke, calm down, buddy."
calum looks at luke weirdly. "you're crazy."
"you're ugly but you don't see me complaining."
calum disconnects.
☼ ☼ ☼
the hemmatron: BITCH THATS RUDE
cal(culator): YOU CALLED ME UGLY TF
the hemmatron: BC U ARE ???¿¿?
cal(culator): NO I AM NOT
the hemmatron: um yes u are?
the hemmatron: CALUM IM NOT GONNA DISCUSS YOUR UGLINESS
the hemmatron: I JUST TOOK A SELFIE WITH MOLLY :')) it's beautiful
cal(culator): send it u booger
the hemmatron:
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the hemmatron: aren't we cute
cal(culator): AW LUKE Y
cal(culator): you guys are my favorites im saving that
