❝ MILES APART ❞

☼ twenty six ☼

luke; 11:07 AM
calum; 11:07 PM

luke;

two days have passed and luke hasn't received any new texts from calum. he isn't surprised, and if he is being honest, he kind of deserves it. but that doesn't make it stop hurting.

how can he be so stupid? he knows better than pissing calum off, but he just can't help getting jealous. he shouldn't have just assumed things but calum has been spending so much time with that girl luke doesn't know what to think anymore.

maybe calum finally realized that this is not what he wants – that luke is not what he wants. maybe he realized that luke is not worth the wait, because distance is for the people willing to wait to be near the person who makes their heart race. it's for those who don't mind spending time alone. it's for sexting and 3am phone calls and netflix dates where you curl up in your bed with your pillows and blankets and imagine it's them wrapped around you so tightly. it's for those willing to fight to be with the one you want. it's for "i miss you" and "i can't wait to see you" and "i wish you were here." and maybe calum isn't one of those people.

but there's not doubt that everything is his fault, or atleast that's what he believes. if he wasn't such a jealous insecure little shit, maybe calum would still be talking to him. and calum was right, he was being clingy, but he just missed calum so much. he misses calum in ways that he'd never believe. there isn't a night that goes by where luke doesn't dream of him.

a glass, a bowl, a bottle, a box, a hole; these are things that can all be empty. yet none of these things can adequately convey his understanding of the word 'empty'.

empty is the feeling he gets when he reaches across his bed and can't feel the rise and fall of calum's chest, the thump of his heart beating, his heat.

calum wasn't only his boyfriend, he was his best friend too and missing him is what luke has become, like a lonely desert road going straight to nowhere.

but he is gonna fix this mess. he's going to call calum and apologize for being the way he is, because that's exactly what he has to do. he doesn't care if calum doesn't want to hear him, he's going to call him and explain why he acts the way he acts. and hopefully, calum will forgive him and they will go back to being the happy couple they were days ago.

he wipes the stained tears from his cheeks and grabs his phone from his bedside table. he dials calum's number and he swears he feels his heart breaking as the voice coming from the other line reaches his ears.

"hello?" an unfamiliar voice asks, soft and sweet. a girl.

"w-who's this? where's calum?" luke feels his hands shake and tears building in his eyes as he waits for an answer, even though he already knows it.

"it's alice, calum's in the bathroom. do you want to talk to him?"

by now, a river of tears is rolling down his face, and he holds his phone with a hand while he holds his heart with the other.

"no," he shakes his head and takes a deep, shaky breath. "just tell him to never call again. and to not come home."

☼ ☼ ☼

:')

this chapter makes no sense but whatever

tHANK U FOR 9k iM CRYING 3 DAYS AGO I HAD 7K what the fuck ily!!!!!

only 4 chapters left buds :-)