❝ MILES APART ❞

☼ thirty ☼

calum; 11:58 PM
luke; 11:58 PM

luke;

december comes around quickly and it's ending within a blink of his eye. the memory of calum doesn't hurt anymore. his eyes and voice don't haunt him at night anymore, and his chest and throat don't burn when he thinks about him.

he thinks he can remember their love in many different ways. he always starts remembering their love as pain. he always has that initial drop gut feeling, where he remembers sobbing into his pillow, sobbing into calum's old t-shirts, sobbing into the phone. but now that he thinks about it, he would always remember their love as something beautiful.

luke remembers their love in light. he remembers guilty teasing and hand holding under the sheets and pointless midnight conversations. he thinks the crinkles that appear in the corner of calum's eyes every time he smiles are imprinted into the back of his brain. he remembers their love as if it was tattooed into his skin. they were all late nights, long talks, their hearts so full of everything they thought would kill them someday, but their love only grew stronger.

even on nights like tonight, when drinks are flowing and friendly laughs fill the air, calum's still right at the edge of his thoughts, begging for attention. and after enough liquor, luke can't help but break down and swim through the ocean of memories only to find calum waiting on his cognitive shore.

calum comes back in lingering waves and overstay his welcome. luke always begs for him to go away but he never listens. calum's always in his mind and luke's afraid he'll never leave.

he has been having so much trouble moving on, because they never really happened. they were cut short, killed before their time came. so calum sits in the back of his mind like an unwritten poem; so full of potential, so full of possibility. yet destined to remain incomplete.

luke wants him, he's not going to deny it, but he's not here. luke stands here, overlooking the city, inhaling the light through his eyes. tonight he makes calum up, imagines him, calum's moments clearer than the words luke has said to him before.

whenever calum is now, inside luke's head calum fixes him with a look, standing here while cool late light dissolves into the earth. luke holds him close, miles away, inventing their love, until the nightjars interrupt and turn what is to come, is certain, into memory.

luke remembers their highs in hues, like the color of calum's eyes when the sun was setting; the paleness of his hands and the glowing blue of his smile.

luke remembers their sorrows in shades, like the gray and black of shadows that loomed that day, and the white in his lie when he promised to stay.

luke thinks they will be together again someday, but this time he will appreciate every single moment. he remembers calum, not as something painful, but as something really beautiful.

and no matter how many miles apart they are from each other, calum will always be in his heart.

☼ ☼ ☼

THE END.

lmao im sorry guys. i rly wanted to end this happy but that's how it ended up to be and i like it. i hope you've liked it too even if it was sad

if you want an alternate ending you can comment or something but i MAY be writing an extra chapter (if you guys want obviously) (im not gonna tell u about it. but there will be cake)

thank you all for being so supportive and for 11.9k that's amazing !!

– sophie who luvs u