Tension//Jikook

Heartfelt frustration

Look. This isn't me ending this story or anything. I just need to rant for a bit. I'm only human , aren't I? So stop treating me as if I'm not.

As bangtan says, "They trap us in borders, the adults there's no choice but consent"

I'm seriously so frustrated to the point I could cry. The tears are clogging my throat, and I don't know what to do right now. But I won't show them my weakness. My dream, to dance, isn't even that unattainable. I don't even need for it to be a job or occupation. All I ask of is to be able to do it freely. Now we got gigs that I qualify for, and I can't do a single thing, can't even lift a finger to protest cause everything they want is grades, grades, grades. They don't ask if I'm okay with it, they just roll with it, and its fucking stupid.

I don't want to live their dream. BTS says "it can't be any later, don't be trapped in other's dreams" but I can't do anything, I can't. Help.

Maybe its partly my fault, the fact that I did my best when I was a kid, gave my childhood away as a sacrifice for my good results. Maybe that's why they expect me to do the same now. I can't even freaking remember the twelfth year of my life cause I spent the entire year studying for this huge exam.

"You have to do this"

"You can't afford to get Bs"

"10 A1s, that's all"

Thats what they said every single exam I had to take. Now I have a small thing on next sunday, even though its optional, the people that qualify are so limited and I'm one of them, but I can't join for fuck's sake. Even god can't help me, if he could I would have a religion.

Help. Somebody.