Falling Skies

Falling Skies - Part 9

"If this is how her life was going to be, she didn't want it anymore,"

"Addie, you haven't left your bed since the party, are you alright?" Jack said, entering my room.

'Say a word and I'll kill you, Jack, and your mother.'

I found myself sobbing uncontrollably again. "Whoa, whoa, Addie," Jack went to give me a warm hug like he always did when I cried. I flinched away from his touch, "A...Addie?" Jack gave me a confused look, his voice filled with worry and hurt. He had obviously just noticed the cuts and bruises on my face because he looked at me with tear filled eyes and said, "Addie, what happened?"

"..." I looked at Jack, my eyes filled with tears.

The look on his face made me want to cry even more, "Why can't you just let me in your mind? I want to know what's going on so I can help you."

"If you could read my mind, you'd be in tears." I told him.

"Nothing is as bad as seeing you as hurt and as broken as you are now, at least if I could read your mind I could know what was going on and I could try and help you."

"I can't tell you what's happing in my mind right now. I can't tell you why I haven't left my bed, I can't do anything." I sat up in bed, snapping at him.

'I'll kill you, Jack, and your mother.'

"Can you at least tell me how you feel?" Jack asked.

"You know what I feel, Jack?" I said, practically spitting venom, "This is what I feel now... Blankness, Numbness... Nothing." I answered and lay back down on my side, my back facing him.

"Addie, I-" Jack said.

"Jack," I said, tears starting to drip down my face again, "Please just stop."

Jack sat on the bed creating a big dip in it; he lay down next to me and hesitantly wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm just worried about you is all," Jack whispered, "I don't know what I'd do if I found out that something happened to you."

"Jack, I've come to terms that this is how my life is going to be," I started, but began sobbing very soon, "And I don't want it anymore."

*

The next day, I got home from school and was doing my homework. The whole day was filled with Carol going on about Adam and Brett trying his best to listen but seemingly having something else in his mind. I tried to ask him about it but he seemed to have no interest in talking.

I shook my head and looked back at the trigonometry text book. The equations that I knew jumbled up in my head – I couldn't remember any of them. All the stress I was trying to keep suppressed today just exploded out of me. I was just so fed up with everything. I threw my notebook across the room and pushed the textbook off my bed causing the pens and pencils sitting on it to fly across the room as well.

I got up out of my bed and walked to my dresser, opening the drawer and pulling out my pack of cancer-sticks. I opened my window and sat in the small armchair that I kept next to it. I pulled my guitar-designed lighter out of my pocket and lit the cigarette, taking a long drag and feeling instantly calmer.

After a little while of sitting in my room, I got up and climbed out the window, sitting on the porch roof. I felt the cool air hit me letting me breathe in the fresh air. I looked out in the distance. Across the dark pavement of the road was the deep green grass and the colorful blossoms on the tall trees, leaving a smell that reminded me of back home. It all reminded me of a time I was genuinely happy. When I had a bunch of friends who loved me for me.