Pangarap Lang kita (Under Revision)

PLK: Chapter 11

Its been 1 week since that MRS inccident happened. As usual, August avoided me again. Ewan ko ba, I felt immune. Hindi ganito ang gusto ko.

I was too smart to chase him. Hindi ako ganun. Ipapakita ko sa kanya na kahit gusto ko siya, Im not a dog.

Tsk. Naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko. He's right, there's a lot of man much better than him but I chose him. Do I need to feel remorse about my decision?

Ayoko man pero yan ang gusto niyang maramdaman ko. Sometimes, I felt very low. Yung tipong ang baba na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko.

Everyday, Im still hoping na lalapit siya saakin and tell me how much he likes me.

But no, walang nangyaring ganun. He keep on avoiding me, my stares, my movements, everything. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi everytime he do it, I feel pain.

"Problem?" someone spoke behind my back. Im sitting here on the bench where me and August used to sit.

I thought it was him. But it was Jeremy. Wow, he finally talk to me. Its amazing. After I dumped him, I thought I'll lose another friend.

"Unfortunately." I said. Theh he smiled, he sit beside me. Ghad, he smells very pleasant.

"I've heard, inlove ka daw. So, who's the lucky guy?" he asked. Pano niya nalaman? Dont tell me sinabi ni Faye and Mayet? No. I trust them too much.

"Who told you?" I asked. Sino naman kaya nagsabi nun? Nobody knows except me, Faye, Mayet and.....August.

He chuckled. Ang gwapo talaga ng lalakeng to. Pero again, he's not my ideal man. Actually, hindi ko naman talaga alam ano ang ideal man ko, it was just everything to August.

"So meron nga?" he asked. Ooh, I get it. He's trying to catch my thoughts. Nice try Je.

"I doubt." I said. Should I trust him? Ayokong sabihin yun sa kanya kung may gusto parin siya saakin. Nakaka baba sa sarili yun. Maybe I'll let him feel down.

"So, sino nga?" he asked again. He's damn curious. Ayokong sabihin kasi parang nakaka gago naman yun sa part niya dba? Im not insensitive.

"Je.." I mouthed. Parang alam niya na ang ibig sabihin ko. I placed my hand to his, to show him na worried parin ako sa kanya.

"March, Im fine. Dont worry about me." he said. Magkaiba ang sinasabi niya sa ginagalaw niya. I know he's not fine, he's in pain.

"Action speaks louder than words, Je. I know you're not." I said. Eh totoo naman eh. Ayokong masaktan siya ulit.

Thats why I really hate courting. Nasasaktan ko lang kasi sila at ayokong makasakit. My conscience haunts everyday.

"March. I admit, I still love you. Kaya gusto ko rin na maging masaya ka." he said.

I dont know what to do. I felt guilty. Hindi ko naman inakala na aabot kami sa ganito. I hate confessions pa naman.

"No, Je. Im so sorry." I said, tapos napayuko nalang ko. Ewan ko ba. Parang na guguilty na tlaga ako.

"March, please. Wag mo akong kaawaan, ayoko ng ganyan. Ayokong kinakawaan ako, kasi it leads me to self pity. And I dont want to feel that." he said.

Hay Je, if I could only do something to ease the pain you're feeling, gagawin ko na.

Pero syempre, ako si March. What I want, what I do.

"Tara, sa fastfood tayo. Lets eat! My treat." I smiled. Nakita ko ring naka ngiti siya. Oh.. I miss seeing him smile.

"Hindi ako tatangi jan." he said. Pumunta agad kami sa foodcourt and grabbed some food to eat.

Habang kumakain kami, I saw August and Sophia na papasok sa fast food. Shet lang? Bakit ba sila laging magkasama?