Pangarap Lang kita (Under Revision)

PLK: Chapter 10

"Hey, im sorry. Its just that.. I was afraid to show you how much I like you. Eh kasi naman, I thought you and Je were together." I explained.

I dont want to faint out, really. Nakakahiya na sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung lalake ba talaga ako kasi sa tuwing sinasabi niyang gusto niya ako, nahihimatay ako.

Whats wrong with me? I just cant believe she said that. As I've said, there's a lot of guys much better rhan me here in our school, yet she chose me.

Im pretty sure, she doesnt have a boyfriend since birth, and Im still hoping, Im her first.

"We were not. I rejected him that day. Kahit alam ko na masasaktan ko siya at iiwasan niya ako, I rejected him. I told him Im inlove with somebody else." she said.

Inlove with somebody else. Dont tell me she's referring to me? Woo, feel ko mauubasan na ako hangin dito sa loob.

"So you're referring to-

she cut me there.

"TO YOU. You numb." she said. My heart went wild again. Bakit mas vocal pa siya saakin? Hindi ko akalain kaya niya sabihin yun straight to the point.

Oh I forgot, she's March. What she wants, what she do.

"But why, me?" I asked. This time, I badly need the answer. The curiousity haunts me every second, hindi ko alam if she's serious with this. Kailangan kong malaman ang sagot.

"Why? Dont you want?" she asked. Nahh, wrong question. Mali ata ang natanong ko? No, please. I like it. I like it a lot.

"No...Its not like that. I mean, Im very curious, you know. Everbody knows how much you hate courtship. Nobody passed your standards. I dont know what's your ideal man.. There's a lot of Man.. much better than me but you chose me. Anong nakita mo saakin?" I asked. Kill the curiousity, August. Dammit!

"Because I like you. Thats all. No need reasons." she said, then she turned her back on me.

Well, I guess. She doesnt like me the way I like her. See, you heard what she said, No need reasons.

Kasi kung gusto niya talaga ako, there's a reason right? Ako, I like her kasi siya yung nagpapasaya saakin, she's the one who made my day complete. Pero siya? Wala.

"Ah. I get it." I said. I think, yun kasayahan ko kanina, nawala na ngayon. Im hopeless.

"Good. Its better you know it." she said. Pinagpatuloy niya lang ang pagbabasa niya ng libro.

So lahat ng nangyari last last last night was all her drama's. Such an idiot, how can I possibly believe that she really really likes me? Ang tanga ko.

I went to the door at kinakatok katok ng malakas ang pinto, "Karlo, open the door now!!!" I shouted.

Mawawala na ata ako sa sarili ko kapag hindi pa nila to binuksan. "Please open the door!!" I said again.

March talked "They wont open that, you better wai-

I cut her there. "I dont want to wait." I said.

"OPEN THE DOOR NOW!!!!!!!" I screamed

Napansin na ata ni Karlo na hindi na maganda ang timpla ko kaya binuksan na nila ang pinto.

"You alright?!" Karlo asked. Hinihingal pa ako paglabas, at inarapan ko lang siya.

Dali dali na akong naglakad palayo. Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko ngayon, gusto ko lang ng lugar kung saan pwede umiyak. Ngayon ko lang to naranasan, all my life, I was strong enough to handle things. I didnt imagine that someday, I'll cry for the girl I loved the most.

--

March's Point of View

"What happen, March?" Faye asked nang pumasok siya sa MRS. Hindi naman kasi ako lumabas, I just sat there nung lumabas na si August.

"Nothing happened." I said. Tulala parin ako. I dont know why he acted so impulsive when I said I have no reasons to like him.

Ofcourse, why do I need reasons? I just like him, thats it. I dont need reasons to like him. Bakit? Kung mawawala ba ang rason ko, mawawala din ang pagmamahal ko? No. I dont need reasons kasi I love him perfectly just the way he are.

"So, anong nangyari kay August? Did you tell him?" she asked.

Alam ko naman talaga ang plano eh. Actually, I was the one who initiated the plan. I need to talk to him. Naiinis na kasi ako sa pag iwas iwas niya after the night we talked about our feelings.

So, I told Faye to talk to him. But I was suprised ng pumunta agad siya sa MRS, it supposed to be after class. So, a part of it, na worry talaga ako nung naka lock na kami.

I dont want to be rude. As you can see, para akong walang pakialam everytime he talked, right? Gusto ko kasi, siya ang mag initiate ng topic about us.

Bakit lagi nalang ako? Ako lang ba ang may gusto sa kanya?  He's the man, for God sake. I thought the feeling is mutual. Actually, Im not used to this. Hindi ako ang humahabol sa mga lalake, I will never do that.

Pero bakit parang nakikita ko sa sarili ko na ako ang gumagawa ng paraan, parang ako ang humahabol? I thought he meant every word he said. But I cant see that.

"Oo. Ang torpe niya, grabe." I said. Naiinis kasi ako. Bakit may mga lalake ganun? Iba talaga siya.

Akala ko pa naman, he's the one for me. I thought nakita ko na ang ideal man ko na hanap hanapin ko everyday. But not like this.

"Alam mo ba ang mga torpe ang seryoso magmahal? They're not vocal, because they're afraid to be rejected." she said

Rejected? Bobo ba siya? Alam niya namang gusto ko siya dba? Kainis, kainis.

"Rejected? I already told him I like him. Sht lang." I said. Galit na ako. Ewan ko ba, hindi pa nga kami nag sisimula, parang complicated na.

Hindi ganito ang gusto ko sa first love, i want it to be special. I dont want to be hurt in the end.

"Maybe he's afraid of all the possibilities. He knows how much you like Je, but you rejected him. Baka natatakot siya na ganun ang kapalaran niya." she explained.

Huh. Eh sobrang magkaiba sila ni Je. I like Je as a crush. Maybe I felt infatuation. Pero sakanya? Goddamit, I dont know why Im being affected everytime he avoids me.

"There's a lot of difference between them. I never told Je I liked him. Never.. siguro kayo lang nagsabi nun. Pero kay August? I used all my guts to tell him I like him. Tapos ganito? May doubt siya? Muntimang talaga." I said.

Now, at the first place, he doesnt trust me. Bakit? Kailangan ba ako ang humahabol habol sa kanya para paniwalaan niya ako? Im a lady here. Shems!

"Ewan ko sainyo. Pakinggan mo nalang to, bagay to sainyo." then she turned her Music playlist from her Ipad.

Ewan ko ba dito sa babaeng to. Never naman ako naging emotional sa mga kanta, sa tingin niya matatamaan talaga ako?

After she turned the music on. I heard the song. Its quite familiar, pero shet . Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko?

I was hitted by the song for the very first time. Ugggh!

Ang hirap maging babae,

kung torpe yung lalake..

Kahit may gusto ka,

di mo masabi.

Hindi ako yung tipong,

nagbibigay motibo,

conservative ako kaya

di maari..

At kahit Mahal kita,

wala akong magagawa,

tanggap ko to aking

sinta....

PANGARAP LANG KITA

Is this true? Pangarap nalang ba talaga kita, August?