I am not a fool- ch. 21

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   I know what he's doing.  He wants me too look healthy when he takes me out in public.  There is three trays of food on the floor.  I am starving, I want to eat all of it right now.  I stare at the food with drool running down my face. I am not going to eat it.  No matter how much I want to.  I am not stupid,  I am not dumb.  But,  if I don't eat,  he will never take me there.  I know that's true,  and I hate that.  I shove the burger after burger into my mouth.  I shove the fries in,  twelve at a time.  I know now that if I look healthy he will take me out in public sooner. Then I can possibly escape.
••• 
  I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth for the first time in a month. It felt so good.  Clean teeth.  I gulp the mouthwash down and swish and swirl around.  This never felt so good before.  I get into my pajamas and curl in bed.  This is awesome.
•••
   My hair has grown out a little.  It falls to my chin now.  My mom aid my hair grows out fast,  and it does compared to other people's hair.  I'm glad it does. 
  I find my makeup and put it on.  I missed this feeling.  I put on clean clothes,  I love this feeling.  I straighten my hair with a flat iron,  I like this feeling.  The heat hitting my hair,  aaah.  I have nothing to be worried about now.  I am safe,  protected.  I am in heaven.

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