I dropped my children off at daycare and tried to earn as much money as possible . I wasn't suppose to be back yet but I needed to get us a place .
Chad gave me $100 to stay at a motel last night . So we moved out of his parents house .
I was hurt more than anything . I thought he was different . Turns out no one likes me and because of that my kids will always suffer ..
" Jade?" I heard someone say
I turned around to see a couple of guys sitting at the bar
" Yes?" I asked confused
" We use to go to high school together . " he said looking at me .
" I don't remember much " I said turning to walk away
" Yeah probably because all you did was sleep around for money and shit" he said laughing
I ignored him and his buddies in the back laughing
" You still need money ?" He asked as he grabbed my arm
I pulled away from him and ignored him .
" You let everyone else have sex with you" he said laughing
I rolled my eyes ." They raped me " I said ignoring whatever else they said
I worked until my legs began shaking . I've been on them all day long ! I was exhausted . My doctor would kill me if she knew I was working right now but she doesn't and we need the money
I had 4 more hours until the restaurant closed and I was determined to push thru my pain.. My kids deserved better and I will give it to them .
I didn't want Chad or his mother finding out where I stay cause they wil try to take madi from me and I can't have that .
I closed the store down as the clock hit midnight . Tired wasn't the word to use , but I had to go pick my my children . I walked to the daycare and picked up my children as they both slept.
As long as they were happy , that's all that matter . I will give them the world before I do for myself I didn't care to do anything for me . Just for them . They deserve better than what I had to deal with and I will give it to them ! Without any doubt in my mind ..
I'm going to save up and move completely out of town . I have to . This town has nothing good to offer me .
It was time for me to start fresh and before I could do so I needed to save up and get us a car first
It was so hard saving up with 2 kids
I was exhausted when we arrived at the motel .. I wanted to get us a stable place to live so Kade nor Madi had to live like this..
I Fed both of my children and I then fed myself some food before we went to sleep for the night .. Another long day tomorrow .
But the holidays were coming up and I need to get oKade everything he wanted for Christmas . I wasn't sure what we were going to do during thanksgiving but I didn't need to worry about that right now . It hasn't came up yet
I laid there in bed all night looking at these two innocent little people who had no choice but to be brought into this world . And why God gave them to me I have no idea .
Why would he give anything to me . I'm not good enough . Nor will I ever be
I haven't talked to chad so that means he's officially stopped trying to be in Madi's life .. I mean I'm not surprised I knew he would eventually get tired of me . Everyone does
I finally dosed off to sleep after staying up thinking about how I was going to go thru this thing called life
