Grey

Chapter Four

When I returned home, Mom was fixing dinner and dad was out with some friends. It felt weird being an only child sometimes. We never talked about him. No one ever talked about him. It scared me too. Why did we just think that he’d go away if we stopped talking about him? “Hey, mom,” I greeted her as I jumped up on the counter.

She always looked like she was barely holding together. Two years was coming up in the next few months, and day by day as we got closer, the pain became more visible. The fake smiles were starting to show. “Spaghetti for dinner sound okay?” she asked, grabbing a box out of the cabinet. I nodded my head and twisted my hands together awkwardly.

“Have…have you heard about Michael Grey lately?” I wondered. There was no trouble in asking, nothing unusual about bringing him up. After all, he was Rowan’s best friend for twelve years. He was like a son to her. He wasn’t invited to the funeral though. But I saw him. I saw him watching from the back of the church in the shadows. And he left before the service was over.

Mom stiffened. “Of course not… we don’t talk anymore. We don’t talk to him. You know that,” she said nervously. “Why are you asking?”

I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ears. “No reason. I just passed his house today on the way home and I thought about him,” I lied. Mom nodded her head like she understood, like she had passed his house and wondered, too. She’d never admit it. I left her alone in the kitchen and headed up to my room.

My cell phone rang once I closed my bedroom door. I knit my eyebrows together in confusion. Grey wouldn’t call me this soon. Never would he. I didn’t recognize the number but answered it anyway. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Ivy’s voice answered on the other end. “I know you really don’t want to talk to me but I’m at a payphone because I left my cell at Derek’s. I was just wondering if you’re alright. If you got home okay and everything.”

I broke into a small grin. I couldn’t stay mad at Ivy. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just went on a little drive,” I lied to her. She wasn’t going to find out that I went to Grey’s and fooled around with him after I went off on her.

I could hear a smile in her voice as she replied with, “That’s good. Do you want to do something tonight? We could go see a movie or something?”

We agreed that we’d go see a late movie. I needed some time at home to relax and shower. I hadn’t had much fun this weekend considering Friday night Grey and I fought, then had make up sex, and then Ivy and I fought, and then I saw Grey again today. Unwinding and having fun sounded great.

Dad got home and we ate dinner. The empty spot across from me was a painful reminder almost every night. No one ever looked at it. It took almost a year for us to sit at this table again, to mend our broken hearts for a good hour and accept the daily fact that he was gone and there was nothing that we could do about it.

“Violet asked me about Michael today,” Mom told Dad, her voice choking a tad when she said his name, like it was vile in her mouth. I swirled spaghetti around my fork and tried my absolute hardest not to snap.

“Michael Grey? Well I haven’t heard about that boy since…” he trailed off, changing the subject by taking a bite of garlic bread. I swallowed my last bite even though I had barely touched my dinner, and slid my plate to the center of the table.

“Vi,” my mom warned, eying me carefully.

“You know what I don’t understand?” I asked. They both looked at me, blank expressions on their faces. “I don’t understand why we have to act like this never happened. Why do we have to pretend like Grey suddenly disappeared? Why can’t you say either of their names without choking or crying or getting quiet? Why? I’m sick of this, all of this,” I ranted. I threw my napkin down and stormed up to my room.