Grey

Chapter Seventeen

Three more chapters 'till the end, my loves. 

 As soon as I left the hospital to get my hard cast removed (and thankfully I didn't need a boot considering it wasn't that bad of a break) and from getting the stitches taken from my side, I drove right to Grey's apartment. I started taking short, shallow breaths as I turned each street, getting closer and closer to the man that ripped my heart out and stomped on it like it was nothing.

I was practically hyperventilating when I pulled my car into the parking space right in front of his apartment. There was no sign of his truck but I got out anyway and stormed up to his door. I lifted a fist, ready to knock, ready to pound with anger. But I stopped. What was I going to say? And if I ever got an idea of what I was going to say, what was he was going to say back to it? I shook my head and knocked.

Nothing. I knocked again. Still nothing. I kicked the door with my good ankle, pounding on the door, shook the handle, screamed his name. “Grey! I know you're in there!” I grunted as I kicked the door again. When there was still no answer, I groaned and put my head in my hands as I threw my back against the door and slid down into the concrete.

“You lookin' for that kid Grey?” a voice asked beside me. I looked up, stunned. He looked to be a janitor with a portable mop bucket behind him.

I nodded, standing. “Yeah, why? What happened?” I asked breathlessly, swiping the blonde hair from my face.

“Well he moved out,” he simply said.

My world was spinning. He was gone. “What?”

The janitor shrugged. “Yeah, he moved out a couple of weeks ago. Don't know where he went.”

I gulped, feeling sick. Katherine. “Thank you,” I breathed and got into my car. Without a second thought I tore out of the parking lot and sped off to Katherine's. I glanced at the clock. I hoped she'd be home.

I was right. But Grey's truck, which had already been fixed since the accident, was parked in the driveway, causing my lungs to almost give out. I parked right out front, killed the engine, and stared. Was Grey visiting? Or was he living here? Was he changing? Did he even think of me? At all?

Slowly stepping out of the car I crossed the front lawn and rang the doorbell. When no one answered the first thirty seconds, I rang it again. “Katherine?! Grey?!” I called, crossing my arms. “Please open the door. Please.” A moment later the door opened to reveal Grey. He took my breath away.

He looked awful. The cuts from the accident had healed, but the bags and dark circles that were caked under his eyes gave away weeks of restless sleep. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was messy. Grey looked tired and worn down to nearly nothing. I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go.

“Hi,” I whispered, hugging myself.

He sighed. “Hi, Violet.” It sounded like it hurt to say my name.

“Can I come in?” I asked uncomfortably.

Grey moved out the way and I shuffled in, inhaling the scent of lilacs: Katherine's signature smell. I don't think she was home, though. I walked into the living room and he followed me. This was so strange, so quiet, and so unlike us. “Why are you here?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Why would you do something like that?” I couldn't control myself. I had to say it. I had to know the truth. The tears began to build up. I blinked them back, swallowing any other further words that I wanted to say. But I couldn't ruin this. This might be my last shot.

Grey ran his hands through his hair and sighed again. “Violet, please...”

“Tell me,” I demanded.

He paced the room and finally decided to take a seat on the couch. I stayed standing, pacing, looking at anything other than him. “You deserve so much better than me, Violet. Don't you understand that?” His voice was quiet.

I turned around. “We were so happy! Why did you just decide to fucking ruin all of it? Why?”

He stood. “Oh, great! Now this is my fault. Let's just remind ourselves that you were the one that went ballistic on me that night. You said it was my fault, that all of it was my fault. You wished that I had died!”

I bit my lower lip, suddenly feeling so guilty. I had forgotten over the past six weeks that it was my fault, too. “I was drunk, Grey...”

“Yeah?” His nostrils flared, his hands turned into fists. “Alcohol brings out the truth in people, Violet.”

“You know that I love you!” I cried, the tears that built up in my eyes breaking like a dam.

He shrugged. “So? That doesn't mean there isn't a part of you that wishes it was the other way around.”

Grey was right. There was a part of me that wished that it had been Grey and not my brother. Not Rowan, anyone but. But I loved Grey. I had learned to love him and forgive him for what happened. It was an accident, a mistake. “Grey, do you even love me anymore?”

His expression softened. “What kind of question is that?” I wiped my cheeks.

“Do you love me?”

Grey smirked for just a second but dropped it. “Before I answer that do you ever wish it was the other way around? You never answered my question.”

I threw my hands up. “Sometimes. But I love you and I learned to forgive you. I stood up to my mom in the hospital for you and now I have even less of a relationship with her. I was going to move out and live with you in two weeks. My birthday's soon and-” I gasped.

“You just now remembered, didn't you?” Grey asked like he had already known. I had forgotten. Today was the two year anniversary of Rowan's death, of the accident. I brought a hand up to my mouth. How could I have been so selfish?

“Oh, God,” I muttered, dropping down to my knees. “Oh, God, I'm so selfish. How could I have forgotten?” I heard Grey shuffle uncomfortably. I removed my hands from my face and sniffled. “I'm glad you're here,” I whispered.

He took a seat and I got off my knees a few moments later, wiping my cheeks. We stayed in silence for a while, listening to the other breathe. “I'm sorry,” he said, looking at me. “I should have never written that letter. My mom tried to talk me out of it. I wrote it over and over again. I couldn't find the right words to use or how to say it. I thought you could find someone who could treat you better than I ever could. You're beautiful, you're smart, and you're so selfless. You always put me first even when you knew that if we were caught it'd all be over.

“I told Mom that I'd move out of that shitty apartment and come live with her until I figured everything out. I signed up for some online classes in the fall. I almost wanted to go see you and tell you how much I changed so you would take me back but I didn't have the courage. I thought you hated me. I know I would. But now here you are, not even that angry at me. And now I know every reason why I fell in love you. Because you're Violet. You're the better part of me.”

Grey's speech brought more tears slipping down my cheeks. He was just sitting there, his elbows propped on his knees as he twisted his fingers. I walked over and sat on the couch trying not to cry too hard but I couldn't help it. “Really?” I asked.

He chuckled and wrapped me up into a tight hug. I missed this so much. I missed him. His hand trailed down my hair, knotting his fingers in my blonde strands. “Really,” he whispered into my ear.

We moved ourselves so that we were lying on the couch facing each other, our eyes on each other as we ran our fingertips over each feature. And when he kissed me it felt as if lightning struck my chest and made me feel alive. His hands gripped my face as I tangled my fingers in his hair. When we pulled away, he brought me closer so our foreheads were touching.

“So you forgive me?” he asked.

“I forgive you as long as you forgive me,” I replied, pecking his lips. He look surprised when I stood, grabbing his hand to help him sit up.

“What are you doing?”

I smiled. “It's a surprise.”