I think you don't expect it to hurt as much as it does but what the fuck would you know about love until it slams into your chest and knocks all of the air out of your lungs.
So you fall in love
and he leaves
and you stop washing your hair
and your skin is bruised with the creases in your sheets
and your mother wants to yell at you but your blank stare makes her eyes tear up and you aren't supposed to see your mother cry
and you'll probably try to destroy yourself
so you pull apart razors and hide them in places your parents can find them, but they never do
you'll start smoking even though it makes you cough so much you throw up and you can't stand the burning in your throat
and you'll run away without ever leaving your bedroom
and maybe you'll kiss too many boys who mean nothing at all but all too much, and they'll all look a little like him or not at all
you'll scream at your wall, and then breathe out slowly
your friends with all start drifting apart, calling you crazy for being like this
and after a while the pain goes away
all is calm, just as it is in the eye of a hurricane.
but then you decide to fall in love all over again, thinking it'll be different
but then you're ripping yourself apart and opening old wounds
and your mom starts to give up on helping you
your dad decides to give up because you and your mother are a helpless cause
your life starts to fucking crash around you, and you're nothing but a lifeless body with a soul that's killed itself.
but somewhere a long the way, after all those tear stains, marked up arms, and thoughts that are nagging at you all the time, someone scoops you up off the cold hard ground.
he tucks your hair behind your ear, and kisses your cheek.
he holds your hand, and wipes your tears.
he asks you on dates the old fashion way, and compliments you all the time.
he would do absolutely anything for you and you realize that you're so glad that those pills were thrown up, and that the trigger wasn't pulled on the gun.
and happiness slowly starts to fix your broken heart.
and that's when love is worth it.
